Friday, April 1, 2011

It's been a journey...'s been a long time I had something posted here. And it's been a journey, I must say. Been through some elements of life that one would typically face as part of the cycle. Went through quite a fair bit of ...what you call it? Change? Experience? The most significant encounter since the last entry was..actually the loss of people who were dear to me. 2 in less a week's time. Nothing could be as awful as that and that was a thoroughly painful process. I don't want to talk further about it, I just want to move on. It was a traumatic period and I was really depressed by that. Anyway, I had to take it that it was all part of the plan, the plan of a magnificent power who controls the earth. I couldn't say anything more even though I strongly disagree.

The next intense experience I am going through is my work. I have been in this consulting biz for about 2.5 years since I graduated. Learning curve was steep. I was put to manage very intense workload and responsibilities. They have almost tripled since Sept '10. I learnt things I never thought I would at this level. I am doing things that most people of my level wouldn't have started doing. I was literally pushed to adapt to these new situations, new things. I must say my learning agility has started to develop a little and my ability to multi task should have improved by now. I felt like I was doing a million things at one time. Oh well, that could never be compared to my boss's plate, if mine was a million, hers would be a billion. I always think I am an octopus. Learning to manage superior was one of the new exp. Am still trying to find my ways around it. Not something you can learn overnight, it's an art. I want to be able to develop this.

Haah..if you ask me if I enjoy my work. Yes, I'd say I do. I like the industry, I like it being specialised. I like how professional the profession is. Certain things I love doing more than others. Because of the intense experience, I could see my strengths and my gaps quite well now. So, that is a good thing.

I work really hard now. There is not a single day now that I can sit around and do things at my preferred pace. I cannot go to gym in the evening during weekdays anymore. I even have to work late nights most of the time. I must say I can do this no problem because of my task orientation. But lately, it had started to prompt me to ponder. Why do I work so hard? yes, part of me striving to deliver what I have committed to, but really, what am making myself to work so hard? I could probably take a more laid back job but I want that neither. Do I want to do this for long run? I'd say no. I'd feel burnout. So, probably this is something that I need to bring to discuss. It's tough because you know they need that support and have kinda expected of you especially if there is so much trust given.

Well, as I started to ask these questions within myself, came a change outta sudden that have kinda put these to rest for now. Our company has been acquired by a larger consulting co who provides more HR services to clients. I suppose the change came about the right time. I am quite excited with this new change. Hopefully there are more opportunities for growth and to learn different things. Let's see how things progress :) Our new career journey started just today. No April's fool.

I must say I am very grateful having the boss I have who is also a mentor and friend to me. she is like a big sister to me who cares and really help me through my career journey. I have never imagined one could have so much trust and faith in me besides of course your family. She has SO much of that in me that I really feel honored. I guess she is the main factor that has kept me here in this job.

Ahh, I need to get some work done before sleep. feeling tired already. And I wish to head to bed earlier tonight after many nights of OT.

Chao chao!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A lovely morning

Waking up on a peaceful morning in Penang and feeling the soft sun rays by the window is simply awesome. Am laying on the couch, enjoying the blissful moments. Just felt like documenting the feeling.
It's our 2nd year anniversary today. Sadly, that poor little baby isnt feeling so well. Maybe some massage would help...

Friday, January 1, 2010

It's 01-01-10 today!

Happy New Year! It's 2010 now! Wowiee! :D

Just had my dinner. Chilling in the peaceful living hall trying to put down some thoughts and memories of year 2009 in words. Would be a memorable piece of story for my reading 10 years down the road.

Year 2009 has been a great year to me. It was a year of discovery and learning. The most significant thing that took place this year was me stepping into the working world. I've been a year and 2 months in my job as a HR Consultant and everyday was a new day for me. Technically speaking, I started this job in May 08 as an intern and only officially joined in Nov 08. One of the role that I play in this job is assessing people. Assessing people if they are the right fit for a particular position. I have been assessing myself while I did on others. Through this, I actually discovered a lot about myself - my positive attributes as well as the not so positive ones. I became more aware and pushed myself to build those areas I lacked. Besides that, I have a fantastic mentor at work and I'd say she is the most amazing boss and person I know. She taught me a lot and is constantly developing me in every way that she could. She does the same for the rest of us in the company. She is awesome! :)

So yes, I had great experience at work and I enjoyed doing what I was doing. 2009 with family was also good. I managed to organise a small family trip to Penang during the CNY break. I was glad to see everyone enjoyed themselves. My parents deserved a break. I couldnt afford overseas trip yet but I really wish to bring them all to some place nice outside the country one day. Meanwhile, we could probably do a Cameron trip this year??? ;)

2009 with my Baby was awesome. Baby finally graduated and started a temporary job while waiting for his application with a tele company to go through. It would be somewhere in Feb this year. Baby moved into the same apartment that I'm currently living in and we've been seeing each other almost every day! :) I also travelled to Penang more often. We went back almost once a month. I enjoyed every trip back, they were so relaxing. It was almost like an escapade, away from the busy KL. Another significant event this year was that I ate a lot more compared to the previous years. It was becasue of him! ;) We both love to eat and I enjoyed the buffets we went and the food in Penang. That was why I had to work out harder in the gym to maintain my body. Otherwise I could not imagine...

Last night, we made a NY resolution together. We will spend our time doing more reading this year. He suggested we spend the night time in the weekdays to read some books. I love the idea! :) I've always wanted to kick start the habit again. Left it after Form 6. We've also made a resolution to save more money so that we can go for travelling together. Eeee I can't wait till that day!!! (I know you're ON it babeh! ;p)

2009 and my health wasnt so good. I suffered from knee pain and hair loss. My knee pain was caused by my intense work out in the gym and the lack of stretching. The muscles on my thighs have tighten and shrunk. Once it shrunk, the thigh muscle actually shortened and eventually pulled the knee cap upwards. This then caused the aching when there was strenous leg movements. I reduced my work out intensity a lot. I had to sacrifice step, one of my favourite activity in the gym. I had completely stopped. I also stopped running :( It was quite depressing as I could only do light activities which did not help to burn the calories. I ate the same quantity of food daily and the amount of exercise was cut down so much. I was worried that I'd put on weight. I did put on 1-2 kgs but thankfully it was manageable. For treatment, I consulted a chiropractor. He is Dr Green who owns this small centre in Brickfields. Apparently he was known to cure many people and in fact, a lot of the gym freaks know about him. I found out that most gym frequenters actually suffer from some muscle/bone problems after being too active in the gym. I was then thinking perhaps one should start a gym routine at all coz as you do, you'd risk yourself more than anyone. Almost everybody I know in the gym have some kind of pain somewhere. Isn't it a sad fact? Aren't we supposed to be healthier? back to the doc, I went for some needling treatment on my thighs. It was the most horrible pain I'd ever felt. I know I may sound a little exaggerating. Perhaps it was my low threshold that exaggerated the pain. I was literally screaming and crying in pain in the doc's room. I couldnt stop crying even after it was done. Yes, I might have looked like a crying baby but you have no idea how it felt. And I thought it was also becasue I was caught totally off guard. Dr Green didnt explain to me beforehand and just told me to lie down. Then he said he was going to put the needle into my thigh. I was like.."WTF??" He started off by poking the needle (it was thicker than the acupunture needles!) and then wiggled and wiggled. Argh! The thought of it makes me shudder. I dreaded the second treatment which was only 2 weeks after the first. I wanted to call it off until the last minute I braved myself for a second try. When I was there, I was told to meet his wife instead. I breathed a huge relieve hearing that because she doesnt use needlees. She mainly do it in a massaging way. The second treatment went fine, not much pain involved. She basically used her strong thumbs to press on the trigger points to unblock the blocked capillaries and improved the blood circulation. She taught me some exercise movements to strenthen my inner thigh muscle so that I didnt need to put too much pressure on my outer thigh muscle. I was also advised to strecth my thighs (by pulling one side of your leg backwards where your heels are supposed to touch your buttock) as often as I could throughout the day. I was also made to buy a pair of orthondics sole and another pair of orthontics slipper. They wer not cheap!! The soles were supposed to give the arch support for my feet and align the leg bones. I also discovered that I was flat-footed! According to him and I also did some research through the internet, it is common. Basically our feet have little arch compared to normal feet and hence the name. People like us are not supposed to run because heavy leg movements (without the arch support) will hurt our bones, muscles and nerves. So after the second treatment, I actually felt better when I walked up and down the stairs.
My hair loss problem is more depressing to me. I couldnt find a proper treatment with reasonable cost. Places like Svenson, Yun Nam and what not would cost me a bomb and they are not guaranteed for success. Sigh... It really was stressful to find lumps of hair each time I washed them. It still is... I've been trying the tonics and hair loss shampoo. I'm not sure if they'll work. i feel kinda hopeless.. :(

Anyhow, that was my 2009 in a nutshell. I hope this year will be a good good year. I wish for a better health for everyone and all to have good year ahead.

Happy 2010! :)


Sunday, October 25, 2009

ups and downs

26th October. I could still reminisce the farewell morning at the Subang airport 6 months ago. Sending sis away. I still remember my hot tears rolling down my cheeks on my way home from the airport. I am very bad at farewell. Yeay, She's coming back, TOMORROW!!! Time flies so fast. Glad that she enjoyed herself there :) Looking forward to tomorrow night!

27Oct - Dad's birthday. I gave him the watch today. Too bad there was no surprise, Mom has shown him before. We will go for a dinner in the weekend :) with sis and bro around. To the famous and yummy pork leg restaurant.

I start to feel depressed whenever thinking about my hair loss. I felt like I have lost half of the amount I used to have. It's so,so,so upsetting. And I dont know how to control it. Everytime as I wash my hair, there'll be a ball of hair clumped together on the bathroom floor. Can you imagine they drop so fast but growth is so slow? It feels almost hopeless thinking of this. I have started using mild shampoo, hair loss lotion and wash very thoroughly each time. I even shampoo twice at one time. I dont know what else to do. I even had it trimmed shorter.
Yun Nam? Svenson? They are so expensive and not guaranteed. Sigh :(

Not just my hair giving me stress, my knees too. I recently went to consult a chiropractic doc and found that I am flat-footed which have somewhat affected the way my feet move and make the knees more prone to damage. I was advised to wear the orthontics, whenever I have my feet moving on the ground. They were so pricey but I would rather treat with this than needling. The orthontics are said to align my feet and the bone/nerve and give the right support when I walk. Hopefully they really work.

I', such a troublesome girl. I'm only 24 ;(

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I'm such an 'F'!

On a Tuesday morning, the first working day of the week, it started off so gloomy. Cold and dark. It affected the mood so much. I felt as though I was alone. Although I have my 'new' hair but i didn't feel so excited. I would usually be excited using or having something new. Being the 'F' that I am, weather does affect my mood. Plus I think I am extroverted F. It does help to understand people and myself better by knowing the types. And being the 'I' with my affected mood today, I became the extreme 'I'. Totally not in the mood to say things and responded only for the sake of responding and out of courtesy. I just learnt something new today, well actually not new but I didnt really take note of this earlier, that a person would act the total opposite of his/her own type but in a poor condition when the person is being put under depression. For example, an ISFJ would behave like an ENTP but at its worst when he/she lost the grip. Meaning to say, the J who always is so organised and structured would be a P who does things in a super unstructured and messy way (they are unorganised as it is) when the J is stressed out. An original P is someone who can adapt quickly to changes and are flexible. They can be unorganised in their communication, flow of thoughts and even in their decisions but that's the way they are. They can say 10 million things but may not all be formalised. So, you can imagine a stressed J to behave like a P but in a total messy manner.

Sometimes it's quite fun to type others especially people around me. I think my sis is an INTP, not too sure about the 'N' and 'T' but I'm very sure about the 'I' and somewhat certain about the 'P'. Why a P? Coz she is an unorganised person and her things are everywhere in the room! Wait till she gets home, the room basically is loaded with her stuff. and worst thing is, they're all over the place! And it gets on me all the time. Well, having said that, the best thing about Ps is that, even though they are all over the place, they know where to find their stuff. Isn't that amazing?! Another good indication of a P person is their desktop or inbox. Ps tend to leave their mails unchecked in the inbox and their desktop is filled with folders all over the screen. Man, she would glare at me if she was here ee..scary berry!*shiver* ;P

My mom is definately a P!! No doubt about it! Look at her room and kitchen. A confirmed and true P! I guess my first bro is a P too. I suppose my dad, my youngest bro and myself are Js in the family. My dad cleans up my mom's mess in the kitchen every time after her cooking. So J.
Indications of a J person are - you can find they are generally neat, organised in the way they keep things and dressed up, some even go to the extremes of color or pattern matching. SJ men tend to dress up well and some even with matching ties. Really! Besides that, J CANNOT leave their mails sitting unchecked in the inbox. They either be read or clicked at even though they are not read yet, just so they don't look like unchecked! You can also find their desktops are very much tidier with folders that are named appropriately and nicely organised. In J speech pattern, they normally speak in a clear and structured manner to the extent that you can almost predict what will be said next. Js typically conclude their speech while Ps tend to leave it open. If a true J speaks, it normally would go like, "this is so and so, that is so and so and THEREFORE it is such. This is the typical speech pattern of a true J. A typical P would say things like, " yeah, we can do this. we can also that. Oh, that one is also good" and they tend to leave it open like that. But a J would usually conclude by saying, "Yeah, all sounds good but we should be doing this.'
However, there is no good or bad for a certain type. A J may be very structured but because of the favour for structures, they tend to adapt rather slowly to changes and may stumble if not handled well. On the other hand, a P who is always open for possibilites is more adept to changes and they may fare better than J in such situations.

See, the MBTI type is fun and it's a good knowledge to have to help us understand people better. Now that I know my Mom is a P and she is being herself, I can't be too upset about her disorganised behaviour. So is my sis, I can't scream at her too often for leaving her stuff everywhere in the room. (hmm but she can't take it for granted though!) Nevertheless, they need to learn to keep things at least in place, if not neater. Just as I need to learn to flex better. :) Cool right?

Hmm how did this topic started??

Oh yeah, my F. Oh it's super extraverted now. Would tomorrow be less gloomy? :s I should probably go to bed soon. I has comfy bed :)

It feels lot better now :)

Monday, August 31, 2009

The green monster

Just a little disoriented and uneasyyy.. :(

Not so enthusiatic about end of 31 Aug now.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Merdeka, yay PH!

It's end of August, the Merdeka day and a public hol, yoohoo! I'm working on a long weekend though. Not so excited after all... Oooo I can hear fireworks outside, 5mins past 12.

What I'm gonna do tomorrow? Getting a hair cut and see what else I can do with my hair. My crown that makes me look like a crazy woman. I wish to get it permed again but not too sure if it's best to be done now, considering its condition. Hrmmm... Plus, my hair thinning problem is getting on me now. It's not gonna help if I do more harm to it, but what I can't take this either. If hunn was here, he'd probably say NO NEED! You look beautiful the way you are ;) He always charm me with his words :) And I know he means every single word he says.
Yeah but I need to listen to my heart as well. Hmm hmm should I or should I not??? Ok, i'll leave it to my hair dresser to advise me ;) Hehee.. (who ofcourse will agree with me!) Well, the thing that I like about my hair dresser is that he is not overtly profit-oriented, like most hair dressers do, he would give the best advise depending on the condition. I believe so.
I have this stupid habit - to pull my hair when I'm thinking/reading, basically when my hand is free. The hair drops even more! I really need to kick myself for doing that but sometimes I couldnt help it. Sometimes I did it subconsciously and someone had to tell me off. My colleagues noticed that. Hmm someone gotta tie my hands when they're free :( Bad bad habit.

Lately I couldnt sleep too well. Took a while to fall asleep. Sometimes it seemed like my mind was awake but I was physically sleeping. I can't describe, I felt so drained up the next day. Yikes!

Sis just told me she's only coming back on 26th Oct. She's extending her stay in Redang to join in a diving project. happy for her but means that we're seeing her later. So nice to have someone to buy her the air tix but hrm, why so nice of him..?

Not tired but I should try sleeping. My mind is kinda disoriented now.
Anyway, glad that it's a Pub Hol tomorrow! :)