The green monster

Just a little disoriented and uneasyyy.. :(

Not so enthusiatic about end of 31 Aug now.

Merdeka, yay PH!

It's end of August, the Merdeka day and a public hol, yoohoo! I'm working on a long weekend though. Not so excited after all... Oooo I can hear fireworks outside, 5mins past 12.

What I'm gonna do tomorrow? Getting a hair cut and see what else I can do with my hair. My crown that makes me look like a crazy woman. I wish to get it permed again but not too sure if it's best to be done now, considering its condition. Hrmmm... Plus, my hair thinning problem is getting on me now. It's not gonna help if I do more harm to it, but what I can't take this either. If hunn was here, he'd probably say NO NEED! You look beautiful the way you are ;) He always charm me with his words :) And I know he means every single word he says.
Yeah but I need to listen to my heart as well. Hmm hmm should I or should I not??? Ok, i'll leave it to my hair dresser to advise me ;) Hehee.. (who ofcourse will agree with me!) Well, the thing that I like about my hair dresser is that he is not overtly profit-oriented, like most hair dressers do, he would give the best advise depending on the condition. I believe so.
I have this stupid habit - to pull my hair when I'm thinking/reading, basically when my hand is free. The consequence..my hair drops even more! I really need to kick myself for doing that but sometimes I couldnt help it. Sometimes I did it subconsciously and someone had to tell me off. My colleagues noticed that. Hmm someone gotta tie my hands when they're free :( Bad bad habit.

Lately I couldnt sleep too well. Took a while to fall asleep. Sometimes it seemed like my mind was awake but I was physically sleeping. I can't describe, I felt so drained up the next day. Yikes!

Sis just told me she's only coming back on 26th Oct. She's extending her stay in Redang to join in a diving project. happy for her but means that we're seeing her later. So nice to have someone to buy her the air tix but hrm, why so nice of him..?

Not tired but I should try sleeping. My mind is kinda disoriented now.
Anyway, glad that it's a Pub Hol tomorrow! :)

Dealing with change

Sitting at home and listening to some music. Some time to chill out, had been really busy for the past one month plus. Baby is not around for 2 weeks, I'm so bored.

Was shocked after receiving 3 pieces of news in the office yesterday. Two of my colleagues will be leaving in September. Felt kinda sad hearing that. Another change will be the no-go with the merging plan which was supposed to take place effect in Oct. I felt somewhat glad with this one. when the news of merging came about, I wasn't very receptive though externally I appeared ok. Nonetheless, I kept telling myself to look at a bigger picture and should embrace what comes about, it's life. After I had been psyching myself for so long, I thought it was gonna happen, or rather I took it as we had merged. Technically we were. Hearing this now somehow gave me a feeling of relief. I could sound selfish thinking this way, but I was pretty sure there are some people who felt the same way. Anyway, we are back to our normal self. Things still go on well and we did not lose that much. Though, I felt really sorry for Nat-nat who had suffered unnecessary pressure due to that. I agree with her that this is a good lesson for all of us. Open communication is really important. if we had communicated enough...
Well, I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a good one behind all these. Perhaps something better is coming our way :) Really, being here has brought me from a person who loves to see the negative side of things to a more positive me now. I'm really glad :)

I love to reflect. It makes me see how much I've grown and it makes happy realising good improvements in myself. I'm thankful being in the environment I am now and with some great people around me, I feel blessed. Mhmmmmm...I really really miss my baby :(

Humiliated!

I had never felt this humiliated ever in my life before! I was almost being screamed in the public and it made looked as if i was a difficult and inconsiderate patient. I went to consult a doctor last Sat and was prescribed an antibiotic. I took and caused me purging a day after taking it and it went on for 2 and half days! And I had to visit the toilet for as many as 6-7x a day. For 2 days and more! I started to suspect the cause was due to the medicine and so i went on the net to check. I learn that some antibiotics could cause diarrhea in some people and it's some form of allergy. Immediately I called up the medical centre to ask and I was told to go back to check. I stopped consuming after I found out and I was worried of the side effects as I understood that antibiotic course must be completed. The reason being, your body will developed the immunity towards the specific virus/bacteria triggered by the antibiotic for the virus/bacteria. If you do not complete the prescribed course of antibiotic, the immunity will not be developed fully and if there is recurrence, the medicine will not help.

I was charged for trying to find out about the medicine which i thought was unfair. Why was being charged when they gave me the problem in the first place? I was only there to resolve. The nurse insisted for me to pay and I was made to look like someone who was unwilling to pay for using their service. I hadnt complain about them prescribing without giving me full information and I was already made to look this way! I insisted and tried to reason but it was unheard. It became heated and I couldnt take it and I raised my voice too, showing my dissatisfaction. Everybody was looking at me. At that instant, I felt so disgraced and wanted to leave and hide. So I told her, fine I will pay but I am not satisfied with the serivce here. It is really poor, I exclaimed. Finally, she said, fine just go. It was as if I was shooed. She said that she hasnt seen a difficult patient like me who did not want to pay for the service I used. I was so so humiliated!!!!

I left and broke into tears outside the building. My parents arrived and saw me crying alone and wondered what was wrong. Only after that, she said she thought I was robbed or something. After I told them about the incident, my mom wanted to rush in to give a piece of her mind to the nurse. I had to stop her and she insisted to run in. I had to scream my head off to stop her and told her we should just leave. There is no point and it would just make it uglier.

I was very upset and angry. I couldn't believe I'd be involved in such heated argument in the public. Nobody would ever imagine me being in such a situation given my nature. I was surprised myself..

:( I wished he was here

Just not good

It's a n ugly ugly world we live in with swarms of ugly people everywhere! we have barbarians taking the train and we have even more barbaric politicians screwing the people. I had a sudden hatred for human beings and the world. I was almost crushed in the train and the idiots were so merciless. I wonder where is their sanity.

Weekend - work work work. like it or not

stupid knees not helping me either

I think it's the time of the month again that I feel so agitated. I still need to finish my work by Monday Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmm

LS turning 24

It's the month of August, my birthday month! :D Food, lotsa cakes (4!), lotsa ice-cream and presie, sweet!. Dinner @ Jogoya was not bad, pigged out on the ice-creams *slurrps* The eating time was rather short though. Had always wanted to try all this while. Was fun to watch Baby enjoying the food. He didnt even have time to layan me ;p
Met up with uni and high sch friends too. A supposed to be surprise tak jadi ;p I must say my planning was better than Baby's. It was enjoyable though ;)
Love the handbag ;) but I felt rather sad that he had to spend so much on me :x

LS --> 24?!! Oh man!

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Tomorrow is Baby's convocation day. I'll be on leave and will go with him to pick up his Mom in the airport. yeay, a good chance for me to R&R a little after weeks of AC, scoring, AC and scoring again. haven't finish scoring though but I really need a break.

IC 09 is starting, will not be seeing him for the next few weeks. So near yet so far..

Now, sleep or score..???