If you come back..No way man!

I don't know why recently i've got hooked up by this song by Blue - ' If you come back'. Part of the lyric goes..

So if I did something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end
No, no, no, no

I swear
If you come back
In my life
I'll be there till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
Oh yes you are

Maybe I didn't know
How to show it
And maybe
I didn't know
What to say
This time
I won't disguise
Then we can
Build our lives
Then we can
Be as one

I swear
If you come back
In my life
I'll be there till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me)
Oh yes you are

Lovely lyrics but no,it's not what is residing in the inner me( i hope not) and it should not be. So much so of all the denials, i really am afraid there is a little part of me is singing those words. The conscious part of me wish to just cage that me and never let it out to resurface. i've had enough of the experience and wish no more to gain that back. i am completely fine just the way i am now. i dont want to lose myself for a second time. It is so tiring to live for others.I really appreciate that i am now able to see things around me so clear, so dear and so real. I can't tell no one to stop the image haunting , not only to myself. I keep blaming myself for being so silly, though it's pretty much not my fault wholly. It just came out of the blue. I guess i am a person that always am carrying a huge hammer and be hammering myself for mistakes done, though some,people sees it only as a minute wrongdoing,i'd blame myself hard. This is a bad habit, i know..it's been years that i've tried to drop it. i gave up, sigh! no big deal. i'd swtich back to NORMAL mode. No worries, i dont abuse myself physically. Did anyone question on mentally? I shall remain silent. la la..~under my umbrella, ella ,ella..~ (playing on my earphone;p)

Talking about went on today..
i was quite happy today that i managed to make a friend happy:) NOt that she was in a terribly down mood. It was just that she kept saying that she thinks herself is not really good at anything, not at this nor at that and such. I told her everyone is good at something. It's just that perhaps she doesnt realize it herself when others actually do. SO,so..go people,go discover yourself,your own potential! ;p My god, so AIESECy!
yeah i mean seriously, i do whine at myself too, at times when i get really frustrated of not being able to understand simple theories or purely logical stuff.i would need to tell that magical line to myself too, self-psychoing again. But then, i really do believe that everyone is born with intelligence. It's just the matter of how much is borned with and how it is being utiised. Those people who did crime,theyjust had too much of it and used in the wrong things. Anyway, i am glad that i made her realized that (i hope she really did). wow, i sounded so noble. Haha!
okay..i shouldn't linger here so long. I've 3 more papers to go. One week of break in between. All killer papers. i just had my liked yet hated Immuno. Was dumb-founded when i saw the ques. No points filtering. Just wrote everything i could remember and that was it! Phew, relieved! Back, back, back,study!
(but i still want to enjoy the songs :/)
Damn all these beautiful girl...la la la

-happy peach-