Past, Present & Future?

Recently the thought of him came back to me. Like i mentioned in my previous entry. Today, one of my housemate conducted a round of tarot card game and i went on asking about this question. The game goes like telling about the past, present and future about the proposed question. Obviously, my question was this, him. I wanted to know the subconscious me have totally forgotten him or not and that i can be able to move on completely.The outcome, well, the Past ; it was a card that shows a family consisting dad-carrying a toddler, Mom and a boy-playing with a mini-sized gold horse on the grass. There is a scenery of mountain and lake on the background and 10 gold pentacles on both sides of the card. The mom and dad dont look happy. So this card tells that I looked happy with him but was not really so then. This was from the image of the peaceful-looking family yet bearing upset faces.However there was hope as it was represented by the toddler in the family. The emotions between us then were quite distant like the peaceful-nice looking scenery on the background that seems distant from the family. Forgotten what the pentacles represent.Well, i could see the overall relevance somehow. Moving on to the second card, the Present ; It turned out to show a human with a horse lower-body in a dark man-made cave as though he is trapped. There is a shine of light on top of the creature and he is holding a scroll. And so it says that the scroll is like a law that i should follow and the light tells that i know what i shoud follow whereas the horse lower body represents the strength to do such. Meaning that, i should do what i think i should which is ignore the thought and should not doubt my feelings. The thirdcard-Future ; A princess and a cupid are holding hands and in a heaven-like place with an arch that has engravement details of happy-holding hand couples and family. Both of them looking happy at each other and there are 10 cups in front of them. Sounds like a good card right? The 10 cups represent my emotions which are complete, meaning strong i guess. Yes it supposedly is a good one but what does that mean then? Meaning am i gonna end up with him again, but happily this time? like a happy ending in a fairytale? It wouldnt be a good card to me then. However then i was assuming that it could mean my question of me having to completely move on. Meaning i finally could and found a better, new person instead. Yes, i see it that way. haha! After all, im the one who is going to control everything about myself and decice on how i want it to be. I guess this is what was being told in the Present card, the strength. I think i have it in me now. And i know what i should do for now:)
I'm pretty sure some of u might be thinking that i'm superstitious that i believe in all these tarot thingy. I didnt say that i'm believing it full-heartedly. It is just a guidance and no-one should trust 100%. You are the one who is going to determine your fate and no-one, i repeat, NO-ONE can see the future exactly. Anyway, i was pretty happy with the outcome. =D

-peach-

Types of STRESS

I LURRRVEEEE IMMUNO, DAMN!

There are the few types of stresses that im dealing with now :-

1. immuno( screwed up test!)
2. membrane & neurochem tests this Thurs!
3. not being able to go to the gym for four days, FOUR days!
4. pain on my knees, irritating! worried..
5. the consequence of my knee pain, have to refrain from STEP classes!
6. hormone imbalance?! testoterone > progestron? that was why, i guess???
7. Money not enough, which i think is everyone else's stress.

p/s : dont mind this piece of blog looking like some lecture notes ;p

-peach-

Was it the coffee(s) or just the mind?

*blink blink* I am so awake right now. I had three cups of coffee today ;for breakfast, lunch and teatime. I wanted to keep myself awake to study for the tests nextweek and i ended up so energetic till this hour. it didnt work this well on the days of my lectures. Could it be just the mind? Well then, i should psycho myself to sleep now, hrm.. and when u cant fall asleep, your mind tend to travel..
This came about quite random here but Recalling the conversation i had with my housemates this afternoon, this one thing kept me wondering. Have i actually had gotten over him, completely??? I am quite confused. The thought of him came back to me recently and since then, i have been wondering if that was just a random thought of him or i actually missed him? I was positive that i have had deleted him off my mind and outta my heart. however, i started to doubt myself. uh hum.. this is kinda tricky here. But why do i want to question this? Perhaps something relevant about him that brought back the memory. it isnt illogical,is it? Anyway, i am comfortable the way i am now and i do not think(and do not hope) that i'm still bearing the hope for him. Anyhow, i appreciated the things that i've learnt from him and it has really made me stronger. It feels so good with the new strength that i've finally found:)

-peach-

I just love doing IT

I have loved it since the first time i went for IT. The passion for IT started to grow bit by bit each time i do IT. The more i do, the more passionate i grew upon IT. I started from a beginner to an intermediate/advanced do-er now and i have to admit that i was a fast learner. I picked up the MOVES in such short time. Once he performed the MOVE, i could practice it well already(at least i think i did) I could say i'm getting more graceful and i love seeing myself doing it from the reflection of the mirror. I feel sexy and beautiful. And i do IT along with musics. The faster the music gets, the faster i go and the more 'syiok' it gets. I just love it when there are more turnings. i, somehow, gained a higher self-confidence when i keep doing it. I feel really happy and `high' each time i do IT.The ovewhelming adrenaline rush, increased heart pumpings, spinning music, all combines to create the so-great feeling.Ah, I just love the sensation! Now, i have got addicted and the idea of not doing it anymore doesnt fancy me at all. Yes and i am feeling really miserable right now because i have to stop doing IT for the moment. In fact, i have stopped for almost a week. Like today, i had the chance to do it but i couldnt. i just cant. I was advised to not do IT at so high intensity and do it slower and that i'm still young, i should not do IT that much to the extent i'm getting pain now. Although it is now mild but it can cause serious injury if it is not handled in the right way. The pain is irritating. Each time i thought i want to do IT as i think it is just mild pain and i cant resist the temptation to go for IT, the pain is felt. It probably knows what i'm thinking and giving me warning signs to stay away before things get worse. i felt so helpless and i can only watch others doing IT. Pity me. Not just i have to bear the pain(physically) but also the pain of losing the sensation. IT is one my favourite routine and it is my passsion. Now dont get any idea, i'm talking about my passion for Step Moves in my gym and i'm so upset that i have to refrain myself from doing it now due to the pain that i'm feeling on my knee. It is mild yet risky if i ignore it. If anyone is a gym brat here, i would suggest trying IT=) Trust me, give a lil patience in the beginning,u'd sure love it. As much as i do. Sigh, hopefully the pain fades after some time later. Not getting any treatment though. I should really take it easy now and take good care of the condition. i have heard of serious cases such as knee cap replacement and in fact, most step instructors have done so as too much of damage has been done to their knees for the amount of classes they've conducted all year long. So right now, im taking a week off step totally and see how it goes. If the pain ( touch wood) prolongs, i'd probably seek a chinese sifu for treatment. Let's just hope it will cure itself. i think got such thing like auto-healing ,right? i will have to believe there is... or otherwise... :(
Enough of expressing my love for IT, i have to start to 'love' Immunology. The test is on next MOnday and i could hardly understand the topic. Probably i should read it as my bedtime story just as what my lecturer is practising (yes, she told us she did and still is,crazy huh? i mean not her but her passion for it) u see, passion can make a person goes wild. passion, passion, passion. i should generate the passion for immuno then...
i loveimmuno, i love immuno, i love immuno..(psychoing myself)

-peach-

Things just weren't right

I was like a total zombie the whole day today. i felt like i was zombying around uni this whole afternoon. everything wasnt right since the minute i woke up early this morning or precisely during my sleep last night. i had a nightmare which seemed so real, spooky, ok..shall not talk about that. Then,i went to uni looking like moron, the hair, the clothes matching..so out! by the way, i wanted to wake up earlier at 6am to study for my test at 830am but did not because i was frightened by the nightmare and so, i continued sleeping. good thing i could do at least some of the test questions and managed to complete my assignment to submit on today. (good job, lisum) self-praising is good at times,haha! Speaking of which, i walked a lot in uni today, from fac to lecturer's block in another end -submit assignment,to bank, to KPS and back to AIESEC office. Was so exhausted and i almost tripped myslf 3x, 3Xs!Gosh, so silly. When i finally settled my stuff in uni and came back before meeting at730pm, i felt a sudden rush in me to mop my room even though i was dead tired. Random, wasnt i? Lia, my housemate, commented on me looking pale when she saw me. I saw the reflection in the mirror,looking so horrible. pale lips, dark-circled eyes, emotionless expressions, my god, so ugly-looking! Then went to meeting looking as bad too. DUring the meeting, i was just sitting there as though mind was flown elsewhere. I came back, tried to study but nothing came to progress. The headache i was having since the morning topped up to the bad condition. Evrything adds together and made me feel like a crap hence the blog to ease my feelings. Tomorrow i gotta focus on studying for my test on wed, BIOCHEMISTRY2! Glycolysis, gluconeogenesis, enzymes and what not to memorise.
ok.i should have a good rest now.

nitez

-peach-

This is a tiramisu that i got from my family members( left).
The other one was from my dear sohpohs ( right)




This was my third one from my dearie housemates , cesiea-cers =)

Isnt it lovely? ;) tHIS was from my dear sisters-friends

Lisum on 8th AUG

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it was one of my happiest day. I had 3 cakes and two lovely surprises from my dearie sisters, EBs and housemates. The first was from my housemates and my dear EBs. They surprised me at home. Before that, we were having discussion in Hillpark among the EBs and it lasted till 12am. They sang me a birthday song which was quite random as we were in the midst of a serious talk. ANyway, a few of them left after the discussion ended and i had to wait for Nadine to go home together. I really wanted to leave as soon as possible because i was very,very tired and i could almost fall asleep while waiting Nadine to finish her talk with a few others. i actualy thought of calling Rene before he left Hillpark to send me home first but didnt in the end. Then, finally we left and reached home and i thought i could sleep soon after. but when we reached our doorstep, i saw Goay's, Geen's and Rene's shoes. There were here! i seriously thought they went home after the meeting coz everyone was tired and had assignment to do back home. but it was so quite when we came in and no one bunked out or anything. Weird! but i knew they were in somewhere. Mawar was sleeping when in the room and i kept telling Nadine that they were here. but she didnt bother me, pretending. When i realized our bathroom door ws locked from the inside i felt something was not right and i never would have thought they actually hid in there as the lights were off. but it was funny that the door was locked from the inside. i started questioning and Mawar woke up ( pretending) that someone must have locked accidentally after using and accused Geen. After a while, Goay came out with a cake and the rest of them appeared. Four of them actually hid in the bathroom! i believed Mawar that it was locked accidentally. gosh! she has good acting skill. most Aiesecers have good acting skill though. I was so touched by them. was such a sweet surprise, really. i knew they would celebrate for me, probably the next day i thought coz it takes much effort to stay and celebrate after 12am. Anyway, guys, thanx loads and i would say the surprise plan have succeeded 90%. As for the -10%, it was caused by THE SHOES, right outside, so obvious!(haha!) So..lesson learnt was that shoes must be hidden well to keep the surprise a surprise ;p i guess if not because of it,i would have fall entirely to the plan. That was sweet anyway=)




At night, i celebrated with my group of sisters. They came all the way to PJ to celebrate with me. The surprise they gave me was the customized cake (there, my surprised look in the pic). It has a lovely, cartoon tortoise on it (although i dont really acknowledge myself a tortoise) the reason they call me that for i used to walk very slow but well, i walk faster than anybody now. A friend that i knew from my LI company named me as 'the bullet walk' as i walked real fast. The name sounds funny though;p anyway, thanx for coming all the way here for me and the lovely cake(yes, i mean it!) love u girls lots!

Overall, i had a GREAT 22nd birthday celebration and i was feeling really happy the whole day. Oh i bought a muffin as a little treat for myself and each year now,i'll be getting muffin for myself on birthdays and it actually started last year. i realized then i need to pamper and love myself more as i think i havent been really treating myself good enough. u need to love yourself in order for others to. why would people wanna treat u well if u are being a jerk to yourself? ;) i think my body needs rest, shouldnt mistreating it haha!
yay, my aunt's gonna bring me out tmrw for a bday treat=D hehe..

Surprise back at home ;)

Good thing that i decided to go home instead of Malacca last Saturday. My family actually celebrated my birthday in a simple yet heart-touching manner especially from my sis. I initially wanted to join Goay , Geen & a few interns to Malacca for two day's , one night trip. I wanted to go for the food. However my mom stressed over the phone the night before that i should be home this weekend. As usual i thought she insisted me because she has always been discouraging me to go out at nights as she pressumed i would hang out late at night if i stay here in pj. That is so not true. I do work here k. Of course i hang out late once in a while and If any more also would be my meetings ler. Ok..and ive got a Tiramisu cake:D ! It tasted good but my mom limited me to it as ive history of allergic with cake once, the most recent case. Anyway, i had quite a lot in the end, haha! It was a vegetarian cake with no eggs so it was healthy.
But right now, i have tummy ache and had diarrhea yesterday when i came back pj. I assumed it was Murni's food which, if it was, the effect was considered quite slow coz we went there last Thursdsay. Haha, it got all the blames. coz there are a few of us had diarrhea and pukings the day after the supper. speaking of which, the pain now gets worse. Was still ok when i was in the meeting with my fellow EBs. This week is so packed with meetings, interviews and such. Tomorrow i gotta do extraction for my lab work which is a time consuming work. Boiling and extracting takes more than 4 hours. i have got another assignment today and two tests next week. Woohoo this is gonna be great! and there goes my gym routine and oh,my birthday...
tummy pain unbearable. i should just get the med and sleep.
Nitez
-peach-

Lisum is exhausted yet glad

Haaaaahhh! i am so tired today. and finally i am home and nicely bathed. ready to go to bed soon. eyes are getting heavier. will be going jogging tomorrow morning around 630am(hopefully can wake up) will be my first time jogging around tiara. i had this thought when i was doing my proposal this morning at 6am. i thought it would be good to wake up earlier to go for a jog before class. As i have no time to go to gym this week and i started to feel uneasy without exercising the whole week and so i suggested to jog around here. Two of my housemates are joining me=) Yay!
Yeah and back to my proposal. ive shown it to my supervisor today with the other six of my coursemates sharing the same lecturer. Glad that it wasnt so bad as earlier i was panicking that i couldnt get anything. So we discussed with her what we are supposed to do for our theses. MIne is about the antidiabetic effect by a few plant extratcs, strobilanthes, gyrana and tongkat ali. from her expanation, it seems somewhat interesting, the research. previously i felt so dreadful thinking of the theses but doesnt seem so now. hopefully it'll be a very fun lab work.
Oh and yay! i submitted my assignment as well! sigh * relieved*
But then..not just yet. AIESEC, aiesec and aiesec. There's always something there to keep us busy with. this week is the week for newbies interviews to get into projects, meeting MCs, recruitment booths and of course, EB meet and EB meet. Anyway, hanging out with my dear,fellow EBs and squeezing brains together for planning and such is quite enjoyable at times. So Much better than to sit and listen to dry lectures. Haha! Gosh, this semester i must work my brain and heart and soul and whatever out to catch up my grades. This is a real challenge! Further more i am starting my lab work on theses on this Friday, doing plant extraction.
Oh btw, welcome to the month ofAugust!!! Woohoo~ :D

Bed time, Great! The best time of all. at least those things are off your mind for few hours.
Alarm : 615am. Hours to sleep : 5hrs 0mns from now... Nitez

-peach-