The Thorns & Roses

It's been a journey...

2011-04-01T22:08:00.003+08:00

Wow..it's been a long time I had something posted here. And it's been a journey, I must say. Been through some elements of life that one would typically face as part of the cycle. Went through quite a fair bit of ...what you call it? Change? Experience? The most significant encounter since the last entry was..actually the loss of people who were dear to me. 2 in less a week's time. Nothing could be as awful as that and that was a thoroughly painful process. I don't want to talk further about it, I just want to move on. It was a traumatic period and I was really depressed by that. Anyway, I had to take it that it was all part of the plan, the plan of a magnificent power who controls the earth. I couldn't say anything more even though I strongly disagree.

The next intense experience I am going through is about...work. my work. I have been in this consulting biz for about 2.5 years since I graduated. Learning curve was steep. I was put to manage very intense workload and responsibilities. They have almost tripled since Sept '10. I learnt things I never thought I would at this level. I am doing things that most people of my level wouldn't have started doing. I was literally pushed to adapt to these new situations, new things. I must say my learning agility has started to develop a little and my ability to multi task should have improved by now. I felt like I was doing a million things at one time. Oh well, that could never be compared to my boss's plate, if mine was a million, hers would be a billion. I always think I am an octopus. Learning to manage superior was one of the new exp. Am still trying to find my ways around it. Not something you can learn overnight, it's an art. I want to be able to develop this.

Haah..if you ask me if I enjoy my work. Yes, I'd say I do. I like the industry, I like it being specialised. I like how professional the profession is. Certain things I love doing more than others. Because of the intense experience, I could see my strengths and my gaps quite well now. So, that is a good thing.

I work really hard now. There is not a single day now that I can sit around and do things at my preferred pace. I cannot go to gym in the evening during weekdays anymore. I even have to work late nights most of the time. I must say I can do this no problem because of my task orientation. But lately, it had started to prompt me to ponder. Why do I work so hard? yes, part of me striving to deliver what I have committed to, but really, what am making myself to work so hard? I could probably take a more laid back job but I want that neither. Do I want to do this for long run? I'd say no. I'd feel burnout. So, probably this is something that I need to bring to discuss. It's tough because you know they need that support and have kinda expected of you especially if there is so much trust given.

Well, as I started to ask these questions within myself, came a change outta sudden that have kinda put these to rest for now. Our company has been acquired by a larger consulting co who provides more HR services to clients. I suppose the change came about the right time. I am quite excited with this new change. Hopefully there are more opportunities for growth and to learn different things. Let's see how things progress :) Our new career journey started just today. No April's fool.

I must say I am very grateful having the boss I have who is also a mentor and friend to me. she is like a big sister to me who cares and really help me through my career journey. I have never imagined one could have so much trust and faith in me besides of course your family. She has SO much of that in me that I really feel honored. I guess she is the main factor that has kept me here in this job.

Ahh, I need to get some work done before sleep. feeling tired already. And I wish to head to bed earlier tonight after many nights of OT.

Chao chao!

A lovely morning

2010-01-23T13:10:00.002+08:00

Waking up on a peaceful morning in Penang and feeling the soft sun rays by the window is simply awesome. Am laying on the couch, enjoying the blissful moments. Just felt like documenting the feeling.
It's our 2nd year anniversary today. Sadly, that poor little baby isnt feeling so well. Maybe some massage would help...

It's 01-01-10 today!

2010-01-01T13:29:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year! It's 2010 now! Wowiee! :D

Just had my dinner. Chilling in the peaceful living hall trying to put down some thoughts and memories of year 2009 in words. Would be a memorable piece of story for my reading 10 years down the road.

Year 2009 has been a great year to me. It was a year of discovery and learning. The most significant thing that took place this year was me stepping into the working world. I've been a year and 2 months in my job as a HR Consultant and everyday was a new day for me. Technically speaking, I started this job in May 08 as an intern and only officially joined in Nov 08. One of the role that I play in this job is assessing people. Assessing people if they are the right fit for a particular position. I have been assessing myself while I did on others. Through this, I actually discovered a lot about myself - my positive attributes as well as the not so positive ones. I became more aware and pushed myself to build those areas I lacked. Besides that, I have a fantastic mentor at work and I'd say she is the most amazing boss and person I know. She taught me a lot and is constantly developing me in every way that she could. She does the same for the rest of us in the company. She is awesome! :)

So yes, I had great experience at work and I enjoyed doing what I was doing. 2009 with family was also good. I managed to organise a small family trip to Penang during the CNY break. I was glad to see everyone enjoyed themselves. My parents deserved a break. I couldnt afford overseas trip yet but I really wish to bring them all to some place nice outside the country one day. Meanwhile, we could probably do a Cameron trip this year??? ;)

2009 with my Baby was awesome. Baby finally graduated and started a temporary job while waiting for his application with a tele company to go through. It would be somewhere in Feb this year. Baby moved into the same apartment that I'm currently living in and we've been seeing each other almost every day! :) I also travelled to Penang more often. We went back almost once a month. I enjoyed every trip back, they were so relaxing. It was almost like an escapade, away from the busy KL. Another significant event this year was that I ate a lot more compared to the previous years. It was becasue of him! ;) We both love to eat and I enjoyed the buffets we went and the food in Penang. That was why I had to work out harder in the gym to maintain my body. Otherwise I could not imagine...

Last night, we made a NY resolution together. We will spend our time doing more reading this year. He suggested we spend the night time in the weekdays to read some books. I love the idea! :) I've always wanted to kick start the habit again. Left it after Form 6. We've also made a resolution to save more money so that we can go for travelling together. Eeee I can't wait till that day!!! (I know you're ON it babeh! ;p)

2009 and my health wasnt so good. I suffered from knee pain and hair loss. My knee pain was caused by my intense work out in the gym and the lack of stretching. The muscles on my thighs have tighten and shrunk. Once it shrunk, the thigh muscle actually shortened and eventually pulled the knee cap upwards. This then caused the aching when there was strenous leg movements. I reduced my work out intensity a lot. I had to sacrifice step, one of my favourite activity in the gym. I had completely stopped. I also stopped running :( It was quite depressing as I could only do light activities which did not help to burn the calories. I ate the same quantity of food daily and the amount of exercise was cut down so much. I was worried that I'd put on weight. I did put on 1-2 kgs but thankfully it was manageable. For treatment, I consulted a chiropractor. He is Dr Green who owns this small centre in Brickfields. Apparently he was known to cure many people and in fact, a lot of the gym freaks know about him. I found out that most gym frequenters actually suffer from some muscle/bone problems after being too active in the gym. I was then thinking perhaps one should start a gym routine at all coz as you do, you'd risk yourself more than anyone. Almost everybody I know in the gym have some kind of pain somewhere. Isn't it a sad fact? Aren't we supposed to be healthier? back to the doc, I went for some needling treatment on my thighs. It was the most horrible pain I'd ever felt. I know I may sound a little exaggerating. Perhaps it was my low threshold that exaggerated the pain. I was literally screaming and crying in pain in the doc's room. I couldnt stop crying even after it was done. Yes, I might have looked like a crying baby but you have no idea how it felt. And I thought it was also becasue I was caught totally off guard. Dr Green didnt explain to me beforehand and just told me to lie down. Then he said he was going to put the needle into my thigh. I was like.."WTF??" He started off by poking the needle (it was thicker than the acupunture needles!) and then wiggled and wiggled. Argh! The thought of it makes me shudder. I dreaded the second treatment which was only 2 weeks after the first. I wanted to call it off until the last minute I braved myself for a second try. When I was there, I was told to meet his wife instead. I breathed a huge relieve hearing that because she doesnt use needlees. She mainly do it in a massaging way. The second treatment went fine, not much pain involved. She basically used her strong thumbs to press on the trigger points to unblock the blocked capillaries and improved the blood circulation. She taught me some exercise movements to strenthen my inner thigh muscle so that I didnt need to put too much pressure on my outer thigh muscle. I was also advised to strecth my thighs (by pulling one side of your leg backwards where your heels are supposed to touch your buttock) as often as I could throughout the day. I was also made to buy a pair of orthondics sole and another pair of orthontics slipper. They wer not cheap!! The soles were supposed to give the arch support for my feet and align the leg bones. I also discovered that I was flat-footed! According to him and I also did some research through the internet, it is common. Basically our feet have little arch compared to normal feet and hence the name. People like us are not supposed to run because heavy leg movements (without the arch support) will hurt our bones, muscles and nerves. So after the second treatment, I actually felt better when I walked up and down the stairs.
My hair loss problem is more depressing to me. I couldnt find a proper treatment with reasonable cost. Places like Svenson, Yun Nam and what not would cost me a bomb and they are not guaranteed for success. Sigh... It really was stressful to find lumps of hair each time I washed them. It still is... I've been trying the tonics and hair loss shampoo. I'm not sure if they'll work. i feel kinda hopeless.. :(

Anyhow, that was my 2009 in a nutshell. I hope this year will be a good good year. I wish for a better health for everyone and all to have good year ahead.

Happy 2010! :)

LS

ups and downs

2009-10-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

26th October. I could still reminisce the farewell morning at the Subang airport 6 months ago. Sending sis away. I still remember my hot tears rolling down my cheeks on my way home from the airport. I am very bad at farewell. Yeay, She's coming back, TOMORROW!!! Time flies so fast. Glad that she enjoyed herself there :) Looking forward to tomorrow night!

27Oct - Dad's birthday. I gave him the watch today. Too bad there was no surprise, Mom has shown him before. We will go for a dinner in the weekend :) with sis and bro around. To the famous and yummy pork leg restaurant.

I start to feel depressed whenever thinking about my hair loss. I felt like I have lost half of the amount I used to have. It's so,so,so upsetting. And I dont know how to control it. Everytime as I wash my hair, there'll be a ball of hair clumped together on the bathroom floor. Can you imagine they drop so fast but growth is so slow? It feels almost hopeless thinking of this. I have started using mild shampoo, hair loss lotion and wash very thoroughly each time. I even shampoo twice at one time. I dont know what else to do. I even had it trimmed shorter.
Yun Nam? Svenson? They are so expensive and not guaranteed. Sigh :(

Not just my hair giving me stress, my knees too. I recently went to consult a chiropractic doc and found that I am flat-footed which have somewhat affected the way my feet move and make the knees more prone to damage. I was advised to wear the orthontics, whenever I have my feet moving on the ground. They were so pricey but I would rather treat with this than needling. The orthontics are said to align my feet and the bone/nerve and give the right support when I walk. Hopefully they really work.

I', such a troublesome girl. I'm only 24 ;(

I'm such an 'F'!

2009-09-01T21:49:00.004+08:00

On a Tuesday morning, the first working day of the week, it started off so gloomy. Cold and dark. It affected the mood so much. I felt as though I was alone. Although I have my 'new' hair but i didn't feel so excited. I would usually be excited using or having something new. Being the 'F' that I am, weather does affect my mood. Plus I think I am extroverted F. It does help to understand people and myself better by knowing the types. And being the 'I' with my affected mood today, I became the extreme 'I'. Totally not in the mood to say things and responded only for the sake of responding and out of courtesy. I just learnt something new today, well actually not new but I didnt really take note of this earlier, that a person would act the total opposite of his/her own type but in a poor condition when the person is being put under depression. For example, an ISFJ would behave like an ENTP but at its worst when he/she lost the grip. Meaning to say, the J who always is so organised and structured would be a P who does things in a super unstructured and messy way (they are unorganised as it is) when the J is stressed out. An original P is someone who can adapt quickly to changes and are flexible. They can be unorganised in their communication, flow of thoughts and even in their decisions but that's the way they are. They can say 10 million things but may not all be formalised. So, you can imagine a stressed J to behave like a P but in a total messy manner.

Sometimes it's quite fun to type others especially people around me. I think my sis is an INTP, not too sure about the 'N' and 'T' but I'm very sure about the 'I' and somewhat certain about the 'P'. Why a P? Coz she is an unorganised person and her things are everywhere in the room! Wait till she gets home, the room basically is loaded with her stuff. and worst thing is, they're all over the place! And it gets on me all the time. Well, having said that, the best thing about Ps is that, even though they are all over the place, they know where to find their stuff. Isn't that amazing?! Another good indication of a P person is their desktop or inbox. Ps tend to leave their mails unchecked in the inbox and their desktop is filled with folders all over the screen. Man, she would glare at me if she was here ee..scary berry!*shiver* ;P

My mom is definately a P!! No doubt about it! Look at her room and kitchen. A confirmed and true P! I guess my first bro is a P too. I suppose my dad, my youngest bro and myself are Js in the family. My dad cleans up my mom's mess in the kitchen every time after her cooking. So J.
Indications of a J person are - you can find they are generally neat, organised in the way they keep things and dressed up, some even go to the extremes of color or pattern matching. SJ men tend to dress up well and some even with matching ties. Really! Besides that, J CANNOT leave their mails sitting unchecked in the inbox. They either be read or clicked at even though they are not read yet, just so they don't look like unchecked! You can also find their desktops are very much tidier with folders that are named appropriately and nicely organised. In J speech pattern, they normally speak in a clear and structured manner to the extent that you can almost predict what will be said next. Js typically conclude their speech while Ps tend to leave it open. If a true J speaks, it normally would go like, "this is so and so, that is so and so and THEREFORE it is such. This is the typical speech pattern of a true J. A typical P would say things like, " yeah, we can do this. we can also that. Oh, that one is also good" and they tend to leave it open like that. But a J would usually conclude by saying, "Yeah, all sounds good but we should be doing this.'
However, there is no good or bad for a certain type. A J may be very structured but because of the favour for structures, they tend to adapt rather slowly to changes and may stumble if not handled well. On the other hand, a P who is always open for possibilites is more adept to changes and they may fare better than J in such situations.

See, the MBTI type is fun and it's a good knowledge to have to help us understand people better. Now that I know my Mom is a P and she is being herself, I can't be too upset about her disorganised behaviour. So is my sis, I can't scream at her too often for leaving her stuff everywhere in the room. (hmm but she can't take it for granted though!) Nevertheless, they need to learn to keep things at least in place, if not neater. Just as I need to learn to flex better. :) Cool right?

Hmm how did this topic started??

Oh yeah, my F. Oh it's super extraverted now. Would tomorrow be less gloomy? :s I should probably go to bed soon. I has comfy bed :)

It feels lot better now :)

The green monster

2009-08-31T23:19:00.003+08:00

Just a little disoriented and uneasyyy.. :(

Not so enthusiatic about end of 31 Aug now.

Merdeka, yay PH!

2009-08-30T23:50:00.003+08:00

It's end of August, the Merdeka day and a public hol, yoohoo! I'm working on a long weekend though. Not so excited after all... Oooo I can hear fireworks outside, 5mins past 12.

What I'm gonna do tomorrow? Getting a hair cut and see what else I can do with my hair. My crown that makes me look like a crazy woman. I wish to get it permed again but not too sure if it's best to be done now, considering its condition. Hrmmm... Plus, my hair thinning problem is getting on me now. It's not gonna help if I do more harm to it, but what I can't take this either. If hunn was here, he'd probably say NO NEED! You look beautiful the way you are ;) He always charm me with his words :) And I know he means every single word he says.
Yeah but I need to listen to my heart as well. Hmm hmm should I or should I not??? Ok, i'll leave it to my hair dresser to advise me ;) Hehee.. (who ofcourse will agree with me!) Well, the thing that I like about my hair dresser is that he is not overtly profit-oriented, like most hair dressers do, he would give the best advise depending on the condition. I believe so.
I have this stupid habit - to pull my hair when I'm thinking/reading, basically when my hand is free. The consequence..my hair drops even more! I really need to kick myself for doing that but sometimes I couldnt help it. Sometimes I did it subconsciously and someone had to tell me off. My colleagues noticed that. Hmm someone gotta tie my hands when they're free :( Bad bad habit.

Lately I couldnt sleep too well. Took a while to fall asleep. Sometimes it seemed like my mind was awake but I was physically sleeping. I can't describe, I felt so drained up the next day. Yikes!

Sis just told me she's only coming back on 26th Oct. She's extending her stay in Redang to join in a diving project. happy for her but means that we're seeing her later. So nice to have someone to buy her the air tix but hrm, why so nice of him..?

Not tired but I should try sleeping. My mind is kinda disoriented now.
Anyway, glad that it's a Pub Hol tomorrow! :)

Dealing with change

2009-08-26T22:32:00.003+08:00

Sitting at home and listening to some music. Some time to chill out, had been really busy for the past one month plus. Baby is not around for 2 weeks, I'm so bored.

Was shocked after receiving 3 pieces of news in the office yesterday. Two of my colleagues will be leaving in September. Felt kinda sad hearing that. Another change will be the no-go with the merging plan which was supposed to take place effect in Oct. I felt somewhat glad with this one. when the news of merging came about, I wasn't very receptive though externally I appeared ok. Nonetheless, I kept telling myself to look at a bigger picture and should embrace what comes about, it's life. After I had been psyching myself for so long, I thought it was gonna happen, or rather I took it as we had merged. Technically we were. Hearing this now somehow gave me a feeling of relief. I could sound selfish thinking this way, but I was pretty sure there are some people who felt the same way. Anyway, we are back to our normal self. Things still go on well and we did not lose that much. Though, I felt really sorry for Nat-nat who had suffered unnecessary pressure due to that. I agree with her that this is a good lesson for all of us. Open communication is really important. if we had communicated enough...
Well, I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a good one behind all these. Perhaps something better is coming our way :) Really, being here has brought me from a person who loves to see the negative side of things to a more positive me now. I'm really glad :)

I love to reflect. It makes me see how much I've grown and it makes happy realising good improvements in myself. I'm thankful being in the environment I am now and with some great people around me, I feel blessed. Mhmmmmm...I really really miss my baby :(

Humiliated!

2009-08-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

I had never felt this humiliated ever in my life before! I was almost being screamed in the public and it made looked as if i was a difficult and inconsiderate patient. I went to consult a doctor last Sat and was prescribed an antibiotic. I took and caused me purging a day after taking it and it went on for 2 and half days! And I had to visit the toilet for as many as 6-7x a day. For 2 days and more! I started to suspect the cause was due to the medicine and so i went on the net to check. I learn that some antibiotics could cause diarrhea in some people and it's some form of allergy. Immediately I called up the medical centre to ask and I was told to go back to check. I stopped consuming after I found out and I was worried of the side effects as I understood that antibiotic course must be completed. The reason being, your body will developed the immunity towards the specific virus/bacteria triggered by the antibiotic for the virus/bacteria. If you do not complete the prescribed course of antibiotic, the immunity will not be developed fully and if there is recurrence, the medicine will not help.

I was charged for trying to find out about the medicine which i thought was unfair. Why was being charged when they gave me the problem in the first place? I was only there to resolve. The nurse insisted for me to pay and I was made to look like someone who was unwilling to pay for using their service. I hadnt complain about them prescribing without giving me full information and I was already made to look this way! I insisted and tried to reason but it was unheard. It became heated and I couldnt take it and I raised my voice too, showing my dissatisfaction. Everybody was looking at me. At that instant, I felt so disgraced and wanted to leave and hide. So I told her, fine I will pay but I am not satisfied with the serivce here. It is really poor, I exclaimed. Finally, she said, fine just go. It was as if I was shooed. She said that she hasnt seen a difficult patient like me who did not want to pay for the service I used. I was so so humiliated!!!!

I left and broke into tears outside the building. My parents arrived and saw me crying alone and wondered what was wrong. Only after that, she said she thought I was robbed or something. After I told them about the incident, my mom wanted to rush in to give a piece of her mind to the nurse. I had to stop her and she insisted to run in. I had to scream my head off to stop her and told her we should just leave. There is no point and it would just make it uglier.

I was very upset and angry. I couldn't believe I'd be involved in such heated argument in the public. Nobody would ever imagine me being in such a situation given my nature. I was surprised myself..

:( I wished he was here

Just not good

2009-08-14T23:39:00.004+08:00

It's a n ugly ugly world we live in with swarms of ugly people everywhere! we have barbarians taking the train and we have even more barbaric politicians screwing the people. I had a sudden hatred for human beings and the world. I was almost crushed in the train and the idiots were so merciless. I wonder where is their sanity.

Weekend - work work work. like it or not

stupid knees not helping me either

I think it's the time of the month again that I feel so agitated. I still need to finish my work by Monday Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmm

LS turning 24

2009-08-12T00:08:00.004+08:00

It's the month of August, my birthday month! :D Food, lotsa cakes (4!), lotsa ice-cream and presie, sweet!. Dinner @ Jogoya was not bad, pigged out on the ice-creams *slurrps* The eating time was rather short though. Had always wanted to try all this while. Was fun to watch Baby enjoying the food. He didnt even have time to layan me ;p
Met up with uni and high sch friends too. A supposed to be surprise tak jadi ;p I must say my planning was better than Baby's. It was enjoyable though ;)
Love the handbag ;) but I felt rather sad that he had to spend so much on me :x

LS --> 24?!! Oh man!

***********************************************************************************

Tomorrow is Baby's convocation day. I'll be on leave and will go with him to pick up his Mom in the airport. yeay, a good chance for me to R&R a little after weeks of AC, scoring, AC and scoring again. haven't finish scoring though but I really need a break.

IC 09 is starting, will not be seeing him for the next few weeks. So near yet so far..

Now, sleep or score..???

I Love August

2009-07-31T22:22:00.005+08:00

Here comes August! I love August....!!! :D
July passed by moderately fast although it was super busy month. Worked and worked non-stop. hadn't been to the gym for 2 weeks plus, no! My life is only revolving around work, gym, home, and my baby:) This month was almost out of of touch with friends. I still am enjoying my work though. It was nice when we all travelled to SG and Bintan together. and few of us to Penang together, was enjoyable. although it was for work. still lots to do, need to continue staying up late tonight..

The last day of the month usually ends with exciting feelling, welcoming the new month - new beginning (again!) but today was one of the suckiest day. I could not forgive myself for the mistake i'd done. It could have been avoided if...i dont't know. It just could. arh.. I really hate myself for taking things so seriously..toooo overly serious..I couldnt help it to not think about it. And i hate for being a crying baby. It just doesn't contain! And i ended up looking so ugly:(
At times like this, all i need is just a warm cozy hug and someone to say, "dont worry, it'll be ok". And it was as if it has been heard. Came 2 wonderful people that sort of lifted me up and it was unexpected at all. I couldnt be any happier. They were simply heaven-sent. One being the person I admire and look up to while another one being the person I love the most. My baby is the sweetest baby in the world and i know for sure he'll be there for me, i could not ask for more :) ..I just mentioned, it doesn't contain!

Looking forward to Sunday. Flying off to Penang and coming back on Thurs.
Now, back to work, work, work. Yeay, it's August already! :D It's MY month :D

July,July,July :)

2009-06-26T21:11:00.004+08:00

Back at home. Self-quarantine :( Was supposed to be in the gym, shop at MNG and to ruben's but am just so tired that i needed to come home after work. I guess the internal battling had used up my energy. I hope the antibody has built up by now. Went for a flu vaccinatin yesterday and my parents beleived that was the swine flu vaccination *hmm*. Vaccination is injection of the viral strain and cause the body to produce natural antibody as the strain reacts in the body. Thus boosting the immunity of our body. Will rest early tonight and hopefully the energy recovers tomorrow. I need to work out! Shucks, i think i've become an exercisoholic. I just won't feel right if I don't and worried that I'll put on soon. I know this isn't healthy and it's not like I'm FAT but...I really get depressed if i do so i'm trying all my best to avoid that. Yet i love food. To top it up, the sweet and sinful ones are the most I consume. Anyways...the chances to maintain is still there as long as I'm diligent enough to attend the gym plus watching the diet.

Today was a big day for us in the office. it was the day for us to find out about the project status. Guess what, we WON!!!! which means it's gonna be busy busy July! :D So exciting! Yup, lotsa work and late night work. Not sure abt our away day though. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I'm exciting abt the project as well. Would be awesome if we could squeeze them all in this month. Not to forget about other projects. Wee! so glad to be part of this amazing team:)

Was also thinking of picking up some dancing skills but looks like it'll take me sometime to start realising them. Was thinking to start looking for a good and reasonable-priced belly dancing lesson. Am keen to learn the moves. I've always love to watch people dance so gracefully and wish myself to be as good as that or at least knowing the basic moves ;) have been to some classess but they weren't the thorough teaching ones so didn't learn in a proper manner. oh and Im actually keen on learning salsa too. Need a partner to go with as companion and motivater as well but... no actionyet :(

People. Characteristic. Behaviour. Attitude. Courtesy
As much as I'm trying to understand people's behaviour, adapt and tolerating others, sometimes there are instances that are kinda frustrating and you'll think that is too much, that you can't take it anymore. Well, I found that myself is not very keen on tolerating ppl with too strong character. Strong here meaning someone who typically is dominating, assertive, less likely listen to others and always trying to push his/her believe/views and thinking that other's are not right. Someone who will always say that "No, this is not right, How can?!, Aiya bullshit la, I think ar..., ahhh it's just kinda painful to my ears. Often, i'd be not infavor to talk when that happens. Sometimes arguing it back makes me feel better but I dont always do because i'd be so put off. If we don't argue back our views, w are actually allowing the dominance even more. I wish I could say things like " hey com'on la, it's not always what you say is right. But i must get my facts rigth before I do. Sometimes, i think ppl can be a little more pleasant to at least be a bit softer in their approach in giving their opinion. Oh and one more thing that i hate is people with super high egoism. If not super, high. I think they are annoying. Ego=overly high confidence. Too high that it could reach the sky. These type of ppl can lose faith but never 'face'.
Sounds like I hate so many ppl. Well, no actually. I'm just saying as I think. Imagine one person to display these characteristics, can be so sickening. No, i'm not a hater, just some encounter with unpleasant people that made me realise the kind of character in ppl that can really put me off. In these instances, i'll jsut go with my 'whatever' attitude.

it's Saturday tomorrow. Likely to be out whole day:) ooo ooo gotta rest soon. Hopefully I'll get good sleep tonight...

Wow wow wow

2009-06-11T23:35:00.005+08:00

WoUu! It felt like I was jsut being slapped on the face. Just found out about an ex-school mate of mine is now a Manager in a huge japan based company! At the age of 23! That was amazingly fast! What am I doing here?!! No, no I didn't mean it's impossible but to reach to that level especially in big companies, you need experience apart from the required competencies. Well we could say that she started earlier when the rest of us just entered uni and hence moved up faster, but i seriously didn't think that was it. I don't know her very well but I definately know how intelligent she is and her strong personality has absolutely played a big part to lead to her position now. She is someone that most people would aspire to be. Seriously amazing!
And this bit of the story tells that, really, nothing is impossible. I was wow-ing non-stop looking at the video and photos. What an inspiring news! :)

I must really look into building my base stronger and work things doubly hard now. Heheh Kiasu kiasu. No, but i really felt inspired! :D Hmm hmm speaking of which, there is a whole new set of challenges at work laying ahead of me now. The whole merging and aquisition plan is about to roll out, actually submerging now.. Induction into the new culture and education about the new co have already started a fair bit. I have mixed feelings now. Both excited and melancholic. Excited about the opportunities and at the same time, fear of losing the closeness and our culture. Currently, the culture at our workplace is very open, with lots of personal touch and it is one of the very few companies that truly truly value its people. Our boss has done so well to groom us, giving the right exposure and sufficient amount of attention to EVERYBODY! every single person in the office and very few bosses will ever do this, pretty sure. In here, it is so open that we say what we want to say and there is no pretention at all. No politics, no nonsense. maybe jsut some heated discussion sometimes but we make up to each other after that.
I keep telling myself now, "Hey girl, grow up!" I guess it's time that we grow out of our comfort shell and face the next challenge. It feels like emerging from childhood into adulthood. Everybody would wish to remain in their kiddohood forever, if given a choice. Coz it's happy and stress-free. All you do is eat-play-eat-play-eat-sleep :) So comfortable and you always have your parents to support all the time. Exactly the same feeling I have at this current stage. So comfy, happy, well-supported, cared for and loved. Of course there are stressful moments but we manage them well, at least i think. So yeah..it's time to grow. I suppose there will be no drastic change for us for at least till end of 09. But realising the fact that in future future, I may not be working directly under Nat, is kinda upsetting.
What I fear of is to be in a company that treats employee as solely the battle soldiers whom they care for the soldiers to bring in profit and more profits. They would value you but mainly for your skills (coz that will bring them $$$). Silly me. No, no, I'm not saying this organisation we're going in is gonna be like this. NO! and NO WAY too! That's just my silly fear. I do trust Nat in her decision and that she knows what's best for us. I'm sure it's gonna be good :)

Mmm haven't heard from my baby yet..better check on him. Nitessssssssss :D

100 things about LS ;p

2009-06-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

Taken from SUe May's FB note

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Orange juice from the real orange
2. Last phone call: Baby :)
3. Last text message: Baby :)
4. Last song you listened to: Some smooth jazz on imeem
5. Last time you cried: Last Sunday, not really cried but was teary

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on: ...
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: no
9. Lost someone special: no
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: yes, just last month. In a mamak stall after the drinking session. Pity them

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. pink
13. violet
14. purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yes! :D
16. Fallen out of love: nope
17. Laughed until you cried: yes! Many times
18. Met someone who changed you: Oh YES!!!!
19. Found out who your true friends are: yeap
20. Found out someone was talking about you: i guess yeah
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: three quarter maybe
23. How many kids do you want to have: hrmm 2-3?
24. Do you have any pets: i want to keep a pup!!! I even have the name ready. Pokki! unfortunately i can't :(
25. Do you want to change your name: nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday: had dinner in Toni Roma's and a separate birthday surprise with a group of friends. Also, was my graduation!!
27. What time did you wake up today: 7.10am, alarm was 7.05am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: fb-ing, on the phone :)
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Seeing my baby!!!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 2 hrs ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Not really
32. What are you listening to right now: The fan blowing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope. Dont think i have friend with that name, i mean their real name.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing
35. Most visited webpage: FB
36. What's your real name: PLS
37. Nicknames: sum sum, sum, pig (but this i dont agreee!)
38. Relationship Status: Single but attached :)
39. Zodiac sign: Leo
40. Male or female: female
41. Primary School: SK BBSP
42. Secondary school: SMK BBSP
43. College/university: UM
44. Hair colour: black, ppl used to say i have real black hair
45. Long or short: long and wavy. I assume this referring to hair, as in on the head
46. Height: 154cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope but I'm so in lurrrrrvvvvvve:D
48. What do you like about yourself: Think of other's feelings before my action
49. Piercings: 2 on my left lobe, 3 on right lobe and 1 on the part above the ear canal - dont know what it's called, the soft bone part.
50. Tattoos: none. i've low pain tolerance
51. Righty or lefty: RIght

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: *touch wood* nope
53. First piercing: ears
54. First best friend: Heidi Rahman, we lost touch :(
55. First sport you joined: Badminton
56. First vacation: Dont remember what it's called. A place with water and a big prawn thinggy
58. First pair of trainers: School shoe?

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: too late to eat, but i had krispie kreme for dinner, YUM!
60. Drinking: nothing. Had green tea just now to make me feel less guilty ;p
61. I'm about to: brush teeth
62. Listening to: still the fan blowing and tv sound
63. Waiting on: ...

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids: yeah
65. Get Married: yeah
66. Career: A Professional

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Smoochies' the best
69. Shorter or taller: doesn't matter
70. Older or Younger: younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice personality!
73. Sensitive or loud: Loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Neither

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope!
77. Drank hard liquor: Yup
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Broke glassess once, literally stepped on it
79. Sex on first date: No
80. Broken someone's heart: One in high sch, one in the gym... But no no I'm not a heart-breaker!
82. Been arrested: Never
83. Turned someone down: Yes
84. Cried when someone died: I'm a crying baby, in most events that involve emotions

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: nope. You need to know a person to fall in love with him/her
89. Heaven: No idea
90. Santa Claus: no
91.Kiss on the first date: no
92. Angels: ...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 boyfriend at a time: if it means r/ship boyfriend, NO!
95. Did you sing today: nope
96. Ever cheated on somebody: maybe yes when i was a kid ;p
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: I'm really happy now and i want to remain as it is now :)))
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: 23 Jan ;)
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Not at all now!
100. Posting this as 100 truths: Man, I'm just to free! ;p

I shall go brush teeth and wait for a calll beefore to bed. Zzzzzz :)

Exciting May ;D

2009-05-28T22:29:00.006+08:00

Darn, here i am munching on my Snickers bar. That 30mins jog just wasnt enough.
It's the end of May, so fast. Remembered I was anticipating it so much :D It has been an amazing month overall. Happy happy :D

Work, has been quite quiet but will definitely pick up in June. Still has many internal things to do. Boss is super-duper awesome. I was wordless seeing her expressions, totally candid! I'm so happy I actually enjoy work. The work and the people are great. Sounds like there are new challenges and opportunities ahead, so exciting! Man, i am so glad i left lab. I'd have no idea what i'd go through. Next week is our team meet and there are some activities lined up for us. Ooo so exciting! :D

Family, hmm sis is away, missing her :( Glad to hear that she had some fun there, at least. Pity her, basically she has ntg much to do after dinner and mostly sleep till the next morning. Ooo she said there are sheeps in the island! How interesting! But they're dirty ;p Baa baa black sheep?! Everyone else is good. Was so mad at my brother last night, such an irresponsible spoilt kid! He swept the broken glass, not to the dustpan but to the side of the floor!!! and he ignored me completely when i sounded him!! AH! Must really give him a good lesson one day!

Lovie dovie, May's a special month, it's my baby's birthday month! :) He's 24 now! May not look/act like one, can be quite a baby sometimes :) I had these brithday surprises all planned out and they took off so well, at least I think they did! :D He was really happy and I was even more happier seeing him *big big smile* I got him a really beautiful jacket and it looks sooo goood on him! We had a romantic dinner on his bday eve in a place called the COurtyard's Garden in Jln Dungun. The ambience was lovely and there were few tables and it was just nice for us. There was a band playing that night and so happened they were there. cos they fit in jsut nice in my plan to surprise him. I could see him looking shy when we all sang the bday song ;D Other than that, the food was so-so. I must say the dessert wasn't that good. I hope it was a memorable night for him as it was for me:) We also had an enjoyable time in the Brussels Cafe on the day of his bday with some of our friends there to surprise him. We got him blindfolded and was guided to walk all the way to the cafe ;p Silly but funny ;p Following from that gathering we have now started a monthly gathering with our uni friends. We had our first dinner in Italiannies in The Curve, was great!:) And we gonna do it every first saturday of the month.
Oh, baby is moving to his new place, which is...just in the same building i'm living now! this is so exciting! We spent a weekend to clean and move things. He wasn't so happy though. Worse, he said he felt stressed coming to his place :( Poor baby, I felt upset seeing him in that and couldn't help much. Hopefully, with the mat in place, he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. Hmm how to make it more homier? Maybe curtain would help ;) or maybe with lots of my photos around??? Yeay! and he invited me to join him to pg next weekend! So looking forward to that! :D

Body, lost some weight ;) but the Snicker and dumpling had just kill me. Watching my diet more closely now. Well, research has shown that most women tend to put on weight when they reach 25 due to the lower metabolism as we age. So yeah. Happy on one end, sad at the other. Just realised my hair dropping is getting worse now and it's slightly noticeable *double :(* I used to have really THICK hair and now it's almost twice less than that. You have no idea how much hair u'd see on the bathroom floor after my shower. Mom has been sounding me. You always don't eat rice, sleep late, never take "bou" food etc etc... If this is in the blood, it'd be pretty hard to cure. Both Mom and sis suffer from this too :( SO silly, my hair used to be so thick that i had once wished I had thinner hair and I was so arrogantly thinking that hair dropping was fine as I could afford to. See..you must always be careful of what you wish for!!! Nonetheless, there is still some hope. I shall try taking some zinc and/or folic acid supplements. How could i forget what I learnt in my Biochem classess! Some Ppl always say to me that it is such a waste that you don't work in your field of study but you see knowledge is never a waste. Even though you don't practice doesn't mean it's gonna be useless! They just don't see my point! Anyway.. Now I should conssider if I'd need to seek a physician first before consuming them..? Hmm hmm

Shall sleep soon. Looking forward to June!!! Wee! Hopefully more more good times coming my way! :)

What to do on a Saturday?

2009-05-16T11:14:00.003+08:00

Woke up on a Sat morning, alone. Missed sis :( Lacks motivation to travel to the gym. Also because of my knees that I'm here. Boring morning, listening to Jason's beautiful mess -cheers up my morning a little. Poor girl, she's so bored over there. Man, it has only been 1 week.
I was running some house chores and got a little frustrated. As I was keeping the dried clothes, the padding for my sports bra jsut went missing. I took it froom the hanger and put its aside to take the others before carrying into the room and i realised it went missing as i was putting them back to origin. I searched around and found ntg! The place is sooo small that there's no way I can't find it. Hmmm!

Hrmm..what to do later in the afternoon...???

I'm gonna miss you dearie

2009-05-09T21:42:00.002+08:00

Sis is leaving tomorrow and bro is merajuk-ing.. :( And i've been feeling unwell since afternoon. I think i'm gonna go to bed soon. Plus, waking up early tomorrow to the airport. I know i won't be able to hold tears when I'm there. She'll be away for 5-6months, kinda long. The last time I sent off to NS in S'wak, i managed to keep my tears but, it felt horrible and took so much energy to do that. I remembered I cried alone in the room for about 30mins when i got home. Shucks, i can feel my cheecks are warm now... Bidding farewell is always very hard for me, especially to people whom I love much Sigh, i always end up looking so embarrased :x

Hopefully the pizza and chicky stick have at least digested partially before I sleep. I know someone will be able to cheer me up later :) Ahh ..I can't let her see me now..

Fatigue and weird achings

2009-04-15T23:38:00.005+08:00

I feel very tired lately. Almost every day i woke up feeling tired. Mom commented I look pale. Could it be my sleeping pattern? Or my diet? Or exercise?
Only yesterday i had this minor aching on my chest. I thought it was muscle ache. Strange.. Colleagues said it could be wind. And i took 'garlic water', oh yikes! Well the aching really went off the next day. I woke up with it still but only gone in the noon. Just as I was relieved, I'm now feeling ache on my back and tummy's a little pain. Feels like wind. Maybe I am worrying too much...
Hmm, I guess I must do something about me looking pale. I agree to the comments too. Actually not just by my mom only, colleagues and some friends thought so too. I guess could be my diet. Perhaps there be more regular veggie consumption.

All I ever want is a healthy body as well as for everyone else! I hope I don't get overly stressed with these. Workloads already giving me much of that.

...

~La la la

2009-04-09T22:04:00.002+08:00

Just passed busy period. More yet to come in this month. In this few months at work, I have actually learnt quite a fair bit of new things and discovered some areas that I like and dislike as well as my strengths and weaknessess. I enjoy being where I am and doing things I do. It's also mainly the people here that has helped enhancing my learning cycle. Guess my maturity level has gone up a level. No more little girl. But well I still have colleague calling me the baby of the team being the youngest. Oh, I have a new colleague today and she is as young. The title will pass on to her :) My interest in this field has grown more and I'm really glad. Although there are time when there's the need to deal with things not of my liking, it does not hinder. The people that I met here are absolutely incredible and different in their own ways which make work a pleasure. And also, through my colleague I found another passion! I found my liking for puppy!! :D Not any pups, only Yorkshire! Sadly, I am unable to keep it, yet :(

No good, no good

2009-04-05T18:01:00.002+08:00

Is so tiredddddddddddddddd and frustratedddddddddddd. Aaaaahhh!!!!

I am so,so poor!

2009-02-21T15:58:00.004+08:00

Something has triggered my mind to start thinking about savings. Realised i'm so poor at the moment. So so poor :( Thinking about my next few years and when i reach 60 with this little savings..hmm it's gonna be awful. I don't wanna end up being a poor old lady, yikes! :S The thought kinda scare me so I made a pledge to myself to start in March and aim to reach my target figure by end of 2009. I should be able to reach ;) But where should I start cutting down..? :O

Just not born to bake

2009-02-13T17:55:00.002+08:00

Li Sum lacks cooking/baking talent. ooo such an unfavourable statement to make for myself.
Nonetheless, i managed to make something nice :) Mainly assembling work though.
Proud with my little achievement (wide smile)

Joyful CNY :)

2009-02-01T16:18:00.004+08:00

It's already the 7th day. Happy Birthday to me and everybody! ;D
I missed the usual gatherings with friends :( Everyone is everywhere this year. No extra ang pows and no gamblings. It is, nevertheless, enjoyable and fun. This CNY is different. It was our first time travelling to Kedah for CNY visit. Had a good one week holiday with family. The time spent was really nice. The last family trip was 7 years back, i think?... Eee too long till I can't even remember well. Had been a while since I last saw dad so relaxed and happy :) He missed having family trips too. So glad to see all so happy and enjoying themselves. My silly cute brothers had their good time in the pool and Yummy Yummy food in Penang. Mom was happy to be home and seeing her relatives. My sis had good time snacking. Tsk tsk makan aje! Haha i know she'll beat me after seeing this ;p And I ate a lot too :/ Started my workout routine today. Low stamina, tsk..even elder ladies are stronger :/
I hope next year's CNY will be as fun or fun-er ;) But somehow the ang pows seem to get lesser and lesser each year. Supposed to be more this year with those from my newly-wed cousin and his wifey and Mom's relatives.? Strange. Maybe these amount appear smaller to me as I grow older.?
Glad tomorrow's a PH. I've got some work to do at home though. And lotsa snacks to clear at home..Oh Oh! :O

Adiós 2008!

2008-12-31T09:34:00.004+08:00

Goodbye 2008! I just feel like putting in some words here before the new year arrives. Got up early today as i was afraid to fall asleep again after the nightmare:(
I'm in Penang for a week already:) Yep, all the way here to spend some quality time with my special someone during this holiday. Having a good two weeks' break from work:) So 2008...had been quite a challenging year for me. One major thing that happened in this year was change. Change of environment, daily routine, goals as well as interest. Moving from a university's life to a working adult's was definately a big change for me. Like people said, out of your comfort zone. Precisely how I felt! I had been in schooling life for mm..let's calculate. 3-4 years in kindergarten(i did 1 year extra because i entered early together with my cousin bro who's a year elder) + 6 years in primary school + 5 years in secondary school + 1.5 years in Form 6 + 3 years in uni = 18.5-20 years! :O Everything was well taken care of by my ever so dedicated parents. To them, kids' educations are the most important thing and they always will ensure we get those no matter how tough they'd have to work. They have to bear the cost for four little monsters! But I'm so glad now that only two left. Myself has finished and Sis is finishing soon, in 2010 but they don't need to worry so much for her as she's taking study loan so it's fine. Back in those times I didn't need to worry much about so many things. I've got everything. School uniforms, stationaries, tuitions, school bus arranged and pocket money. All i had to worry was getting EXCELLENT grades in exams, not just good. They have never pressured me though. It was more like a silent pressure. I knew those were what they wanted and I did do well in almost all my major exams and they were very happy indeed. Only I was a little disappointed in my uni's grade. They aren't bad but just not good enough or so I thought. Anyway they aren't important anymore now. So yeah, that's the end of my student's life and moving towards a more realistic world. Here's the beginning of the life challenges. Everything was unpredictable and not pre-arranged like used to. Parents won't find for me my interest job, won't pay me allowance anymore(though i know they would give if I really ask with a thick face), won't buy me `uniforms' and won't arrange transportations. I have to do these all by own but of course they are always there whenever I need something. I know this is the time when I really have to be independant. Yeah,like they said-Grow up! I feel happy that I'm able to contribute at least some money to them and also buying things/food for my siblings.
The biggest challenge for me this year was to find my interest job. What i'm doing now has nothing to do with my degree - everyones says it's common such. A lot of thinkings was done and it took quite a while to figure somethings. No, I haven't figure out what I really want to do, yet. Yes, until now, honestly. I only have found out what I don't. I didn't want to be in the Biochem lab. Neither the clinical nor the research lab. So at least one thing was clear. Elimination is also one good way to find answers. Despite that, i certainly think that the knowledge will not go to waste. It is good to know for our body, our health and living a healthy lifestyle so i'm not upset about that. What's upsetting me,sometimes, is not able to know my true interest. Sooner or later,I'll probably will but I feel lost at times. Looking at peers who already pursuing their interest job makes me jealous sometimes. I feel like I'm way behind. Nevertheless, I am glad to be in this place I am now. I'd say this is a right place for me to learn and gain as much possible at my position now, granted with a bunch of truly amazing people who are so supportive and 'true'. I am thankful being here:) although I can't say what I'm doing now is what I really want. I've chosen not to think so much for now for at least I really am enjoying this. Meanwhile I'll make the best out of this opportunity and I'm pretty sure the day that I'll finally solve the big question will come. I have learnt to be more positive than i was before and it really helps to build the self-esteem that I need. But to come to this decision of being here has put me through quite some challenges - finding interest, job hunting stress, interview stages, huge debate sessions with parents which are really really upsetting, travelling to interview sites, money issues (stopped getting allowance after uni) and bla bla bla. At times like this, I was grateful to have these few awesome people to support me endlessly. I knew I could always count on them and I truly appreciate all of them. My parents, my siblings and my sweetheart. Sometimes I may not show the feelings on my face but deep down my heart stays my love for them. Here I meant my parents. Somehow our relationships are a little formal and non-expressive and this was the way we are brought up so we understood without saying.

Another thing to add on to my 2008 happenings' list is my graduation! Yes, after 18.5-20 years of school I have finally graduated! How excited! As excited as I could be, there also lie the fear to face the real world. Some said it is ruthless; it is the survival for the fittest, a metaphor to describe that only the fittest person will prevail in the competitive society. Similar to the Darwinism theory of natural selection (goodness of Bio knowledge-helps to enhance your blog;p). 070808 was my historical day in life. I was glad to have people whom I loved witnessed the joyful moment and especially my parents who i think might have heaved a sigh of relief while watching me walking off the stage with the scroll(fake scroll) and also might be thinking in their heads, 'Oh finally. One down'. haha! I really appreciate those who came and they have all made my day:) Not forgetting my awesome 080808 birthday celebration. Such an auspicious year for me. Oh well,that was not all! Of course I wouldn't miss out this one! Yet another amazing thing happened this year which has made my 2008 such a grrrreaaat one. The person I was casually hooked up with has now become that someone special:) and it's been really wonderful. He puts smiles on my face everyday. Almost everyday! Even when we are apart from each other (geographical barrier), he still does! I can't describe how much I appreciate his presence and the things he has done. He is simply amazing. I really feel like I'm the luckiest girl present. Thank you love:)

Overall, 2008 has been a WONDERFUL year. Now, I wish for another fantastic year ahead although i can't yet to foresee what's coming and what's not. If i'm asked for my New Year resolutions? Hrmmm...ok..if i have to have one or some...i'll say learn to be frugal - spend what is neccesary (quite a challenge), maximise the learning opportunities that I can get in my work, and keep as fit as possible. Perhaps I should start attending belly dancing classes again.

Oo can't wait for the ice-cream later, yum yum BR:D I'm running down for brunch first.
Cheers! Happy Happy New Year!
And Again, good bye sweet 2008! :D

Shit, shit happened

2008-10-15T17:40:00.003+08:00

erghhhhhh! Shit happens! Just as i thought it was about to end smoothly, it happened. Ishhhh... i am so upset now. How could i be so careless ! :( This will be a huge disappointment for me.

NIghtmares

2008-10-08T15:38:00.002+08:00

I had two nightmares last night. Both with me in similar kind of torture but in different scenarios. Okay, it might sound funny. The torture in the nightmare was i being held and tickled on my armpit non-stop. It wasn't some painful torture but believe me, if you were being hand-held and tickled like that, it would feel just as bad as the joss sticks being chucked at your skin with your hand-held and not able to escape. i had that kind of nightmare too,once. Back to the story, in this first nightmare, i was walking around with my baby in a somewhat appeared to me, a mall. then walking and walking, i noticed there were two girls who acted suspiciously following us all the time. Kept walking. er, actually the in-between pieces were missing. okay came to this torturous part. I was suddenly grabbed my arms by one the girls and the other one started ticking me on my armpit! I was struggling and tried to scream but was not able to. The feeling was horrible! Ugh! Then finally i managed to shout and i woke up. I meant i really shouted. My aunt who shares the room with me but she sleeps on the mattress on the floor was awakened by the soft shouting and asked me what was wrong. I was too tired and was actually still not fully awake , so i did not respond to her and continued to sleep. Then the second nightmare came. Strange i could not remember the details of this one though it was more recent.Because we usually can recall the most recent dream if we have had a few on the same night. But yeah, i could only remember the tickling part. Yes, tickling again! Again, i was hand-held and could not run. I woke up for the second time with a soft shout. Omg, like i could feel the tickling for real. errrrrrhhhhhhhhh! The second time i was awake, i was more conscious. I was scared. I started to chant in my head. I was afraid that i was awake, alone and dark, and i was scared too to fall asleep and having the nightmare again. I was praying hard for someone in the house to wake up. I did not dare to move and both my legs were crossed. Oh, i used to sleep with my legs crossed when i was young till my secondary years because i was very scared at nights and dark. Slept with lights on though. My guts were just tiny back then. Eventually, about 20s-30s minutes ( i think it was. or maybe was only few minutes but i felt long) later my dad was up and i was relieved a little. And so, i fell asleep again. I woke in the morning feeling tired so was a little late for work. When i came to the office, i told my colleagues of my encounter and one of them asked if i had any beverage like coffee, essence etc before i went to bed. In fact, i had tea. She said,based on past experiences, that if we take beverages or food that energize the body, eg coffee, our brain will be active and if forced to sleep, nightmares will occur. Maybe not to everyone. But mine was most likely the tea. So yeah i've learnt my lesson to not take in tea, coffee, whatever, sugar before to bed. I am really afraid of anymore ticklings in my dream. Also no real ticklings too. No no!

So if you wanna have a good night sleep, avoid such food or anything that'll keep your brain alert.

Again i have to stress, tickling with hand held is one of the most unpleasant torture. At least to me. But i dont mind to do it for others who think that that is a pleasure heheh...

Sesat

2008-09-24T11:37:00.002+08:00

Lost and sesat and lost.
Friends always joke that i'm a tortoise because i move slowly. Now i wish that i am. At least i can tuck my head under the shell, away from outside world. Until i feel comfortable to tuck my head out again :(
Everyone kept asking. Askking and asking. Asking and asking. No one seems to care about my feeling lost and pressured inside. So suffocated.
Incomplete metamorphosis. There wont be beautiful butterfly :( ...

Are you lonesome tonight

2008-09-02T14:24:00.003+08:00

This is so strange.

Last night, i stayed up late to watch drama series and all of a sudden, i felt motion of emptiness engulfed me. As i looked around the quiet house, i felt so lonely as everyone else was asleep and sister and aunt who share room with me were not. It felt just like the times when i was all alone in the small little room in the university's hostel. Lonesome and horrible feeling. But then, it was not as if i have not been alone till that late at home. I didn't feel so bad like this. i felt even worse when i got to the bed, alone :( I thought it was the hormones that caused the turbulence. It should be normal at this time of the month, i guessed. i could not find a solid reason as to why i was feeling so aweful. This morning when i woke up, i was all alone in the house.That feeling crept back into me. Was feeling a little blue while on my way to work but thankfully it did not last that long. Just wondering why was it so... :S

What's next for her?

2008-03-05T13:46:00.003+08:00

She's clueless of her next step now. Wondering where her path will lead her to after this.. A lot of questions have been asked and all of them prompted her to think real.She still feels unprepared yet anxious. At one time she thought she could see it but other times she saw nothing. What is she really looking for in life? She hasnt yet figure out exactly and was trying to escape from the question but now it seems that she really need to sit down quietly and think for herself. Pretty sure most people will go through this stage at a certain point in their life but how did they come to a good conclusion to it?

Not just the weather

2008-02-29T23:35:00.004+08:00

Things are just so cold today. Not just the weather, it seems like everything else. Maybe i just wasn't in the mood for anything. Easily agitated and restless. All i need is a big, warm hug right now :/

maybe it's the DMS but could be just an excuse...

Not a good day

Mannerism 101

2008-02-27T23:43:00.005+08:00

I think i can kill a cow right now. I wished all the rude people in the world get the punishment they deserved and i'd really like to impose a law on these people. They got no authority to make other's lives miserable and worse even, threaten their safety. Didn't they learn what manners are and practise them? Such aweful occurence to have them roaming around and causing miseries. One thing that i can't tolerate is these rude people. Just so, so aweful! We shall promote 'Mannerism 101', not like they gonna be bothered anyway. i'm sure they'll get what they deserve some day. Maybe they feel good by behaving such way. Maybe i should try becoming one as well, so that at least i wont feel i was being rude-d at. maybe i could be even better than them. Speaking of being evil..i think i can do equally good ;D

-she was just pissed-

That's all for CNY

2008-02-12T02:09:00.001+08:00

Back from CNY. It's time to work hard. Thesis, @, labs, workout routines..so many things to juggle. Despite those , she's happy , happy , happy :) Final semester, woohoo~ Looking forwrd to each day =D

Once upon a time...

2008-02-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

This is a story about a girl and her Mom. This girl,once upon a time, was a rebellious daughter and never had a loving relationship with her Mom . Due to lack of tolerance and trust in both sides, the communication level between them went very low. They were good but just that they did not share stories together. This girl has always thought that her Mom was not as open-minded to discuss things that are personal and therefore, they never had deep talk. They never talk about relationships and stuff. They never told each other that they care and love. It was so shameful to not be able to tell that. She used to whine a lot about others having such open-mined and easy-going parents. She envied that a lot and often got unhappy. Incident occured and the Mom somehow lost trust in her girl as she suspected her doing things behind her back. Yet again, it was never been brought up and kept silent till now. Despite that, things were actually fine between them. It was just that there were silent issues been kept in both their hearts making them both not trusting each other. Bad times are gone and It's all good now.
After entering uni and staying apart from the family during weekdays, she started to realize things. Being with all the good people has impacted her and gave a good influence on her. She realized it was so wrong to not be able to be close to her Mom. She then started to try to work things out and slowly, things became better. It took her a while to leave the egoness and showed more concern to her family and appreciate them. She learnt that nothing is more important than her family. Another incident that brought her to realization was that when she was down with allergy attack, she realized that no one loves her more than her parents. She could never have learnt a better lesson in her life. Things have been wonderful now. She's now slowly open up to her parents. One good achievement today, she finally found the courage to share a sweet story with her parents though it was brought up quite randomly. She hopes that the bond will grow stronger and closer as time goes. i'm pretty sure it would and i believe they'll be greater:)
It is actually not that bad after all to cry in front of parents,she realized. Mom was so touched that her girl actually teared and worried when she suffered from fish bone choking. Looking at Mom's choked, red face gave her heart ache. JUst to share an information, if such things were to happen, rinsing the throat with vinegar does help to alleviate the bone. Apparently, vinegar is able to soften the bone and ease the removal of it. That was how it saved Mom. The rice method did not help much.

She's tired and confused

2008-02-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

She's lost, frustrated and dissapointed. She thought she could trust people but she did not gain the trust in return and better still, got backfired. She's got dissapointed that she met people whom picks at others for no concrete reason. She just so dislikes people who bursts easily and as though the whole world has fault with him. Where is all the brain cells to think and distinguish good/bad in him? Please use them for god sake! And as well she hates drama king/queen. C'mon, what do you want to show with all these dramas? Cant u just confront people and talk your whatever-shit problem and leave all the dramas?! *sweat*

p/s : she apologized for the impolite words because she just can't stand nonsense no more.

The metamorphosis cycle

2008-01-29T21:51:00.000+08:00

She's back now for the year 2008 and this is her first entry of the year. Things have been pretty good for her , even greater. She was back then a young caterpillar that eats and eats just to want to grow, not knowing the things she took in were good orbad. Now she has moved to a new phase of the cycle, the pupa stage. This is the time when she could start gather all her energy and strengths to be able to morph into a beautiful and strong butterfly when the time comes. in this context, it is the knwledge, experience, values and such to equip her in the process of morphing into a gorgeous butterfly. She believes that she can achieve that someday=)
The year 2008 has been really kind to her. She has never felt this wonderful. One great thing that she has learnt and to bring into this year is that being thankful of the things around. She has began to truly appreciate things with her heart. She loves herself more than anything now. She loves her family, her friends and is grateful of all the things she has now. This girl has really grown up and no longer the childish girl with all the silly thoughts she could have (although she is still a little childish now but in a matured way..can't really express well but yeah) She used to complain and question a lot. Whining alot of times. How come i dont get this?How come they have ?I want this too and i want that as well and la la la..always trying to pursue things that are unrealistic. SHe's also agreed that she was quite a drama queen last time. Would laugh at herself thinking back of those things back then. I feel so glad that she has finally found herself, not completely but getting there:) At least she is strong within herself and knows what she wants (not all the time but at least much better la!) She believes that more great things will come along, not to mention that she has found some great things:) Life seems more colorful now, just like having rainbow that doesn't fade even after rain has long gone. She just want to say one word : AWESOME, girl!

If you come back..No way man!

2007-11-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

I don't know why recently i've got hooked up by this song by Blue - ' If you come back'. Part of the lyric goes..

So if I did something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end
No, no, no, no

I swear
If you come back
In my life
I'll be there till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
Oh yes you are

Maybe I didn't know
How to show it
And maybe
I didn't know
What to say
This time
I won't disguise
Then we can
Build our lives
Then we can
Be as one

I swear
If you come back
In my life
I'll be there till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Back into my life)
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me)
Oh yes you are

Lovely lyrics but no,it's not what is residing in the inner me( i hope not) and it should not be. So much so of all the denials, i really am afraid there is a little part of me is singing those words. The conscious part of me wish to just cage that me and never let it out to resurface. i've had enough of the experience and wish no more to gain that back. i am completely fine just the way i am now. i dont want to lose myself for a second time. It is so tiring to live for others.I really appreciate that i am now able to see things around me so clear, so dear and so real. I can't tell no one to stop the image haunting , not only to myself. I keep blaming myself for being so silly, though it's pretty much not my fault wholly. It just came out of the blue. I guess i am a person that always am carrying a huge hammer and be hammering myself for mistakes done, though some,people sees it only as a minute wrongdoing,i'd blame myself hard. This is a bad habit, i know..it's been years that i've tried to drop it. i gave up, sigh! no big deal. i'd swtich back to NORMAL mode. No worries, i dont abuse myself physically. Did anyone question on mentally? I shall remain silent. la la..~under my umbrella, ella ,ella..~ (playing on my earphone;p)

Talking about went on today..
i was quite happy today that i managed to make a friend happy:) NOt that she was in a terribly down mood. It was just that she kept saying that she thinks herself is not really good at anything, not at this nor at that and such. I told her everyone is good at something. It's just that perhaps she doesnt realize it herself when others actually do. SO,so..go people,go discover yourself,your own potential! ;p My god, so AIESECy!
yeah i mean seriously, i do whine at myself too, at times when i get really frustrated of not being able to understand simple theories or purely logical stuff.i would need to tell that magical line to myself too, self-psychoing again. But then, i really do believe that everyone is born with intelligence. It's just the matter of how much is borned with and how it is being utiised. Those people who did crime,theyjust had too much of it and used in the wrong things. Anyway, i am glad that i made her realized that (i hope she really did). wow, i sounded so noble. Haha!
okay..i shouldn't linger here so long. I've 3 more papers to go. One week of break in between. All killer papers. i just had my liked yet hated Immuno. Was dumb-founded when i saw the ques. No points filtering. Just wrote everything i could remember and that was it! Phew, relieved! Back, back, back,study!
(but i still want to enjoy the songs :/)
Damn all these beautiful girl...la la la

-happy peach-

SHe's bored over her laziness and complaining about her tan

2007-10-14T23:10:00.001+08:00

Laziness is crawling all over me. I think i have used up all my energy for my past two weeks' tests and haven't recovered from the exhaustion. I went home and chilled around with my brothers and went out with my girlfriends. tried looking at the notes but failed. The exam fever has yet to overwhelm me. it's just like you know you are nearing to danger and you still don't bother to do anything about it and later on you complain all over. See, human's nature. tsk tsk such a bad habit. Im talking about myself k.. don't be sensitive yeah.

Omg, i've got myself so tanned! The swimwear lines are so noticeable. How am i going to wear bare-back dress on this coming saturday? I started swimming recently as i've cut down on my cardio activities, for the goodness of my knees. Not a bad thing though. I never knew swimming is this relaxing. The mind empties when u're in the water. Howver, the cleanliness of the water quite a big deal to me. How gross is it when u meet a miserable strand of 1-inched hair floating towards your face when u were breaststroking? I've no idea where it was from and i dont wish to know. Hrm, am thinking if i should just get an even tan on my back so that i wont look odd in the dress. everyone commented on me looking tan :( ouch ouch ouch!

-tanned peach-

blissfuL momento

2007-10-09T22:48:00.001+08:00

Breathing a sigh of relief *phew* i've finally finished sitting for all six tests today which had been going on for two weeks. Total madness. Never in my student life i'd been so stressful, i can say quite comparable to my STPM time, as hectic. Even now, i'd still think STPM was tough. It was a nightmare and i dont wish to go through that again. Those were just tests and they'd hit me hard. Final exams are just less than 3 weeks away. My god, i really gotta hit the right button this time or else i wont be able to save the grades. it isn a good thing when u realized you've started to doubt your own intelligence. I feel sorry for myself for having the slightest thought to give up. i'd have to constantly remind myself that there's a reason me being in UM, though realistically it's not a big deal nowadays for getting in uni. Yet, to a certain extent, there's a qualification to be met upon the entry, right right? I just hope the motivation level doesnt decline further, otherwise..

Damn all these beautiful girls, they only wanna do you dirt, they'll you SUICIDAL,SUICIDAL.. lalaala..
Random ;p but it keeps playing in my head lately. Prefer Jojo's lyric better
lalaala.. off for manicure and mask now:) bliss..

-peach-

GABA? or glutamate?

2007-10-04T13:22:00.001+08:00

Not enough?! So much so for that 20% and yet it turned out like crap. 24/7 been sitting there with backaches and gym-skipping..? Disappointing betuL.. I really need to stimulate my brain cells before the finals. Long term memory, need GABA ( am i right?! or glutamate..?) still cant get over the test i had this morning. confused with the facts.. Damn smart. spot question. those skipped ones came out. stupefied...

From dislike to like but yet, it's not enough

2007-10-02T14:06:00.000+08:00

It just subconsciously grew. I didn't know that i started to like. I disliked so much when i was first introduced at it but now i realize they are pretty interesting and amusing. Am talking about Immunology, a course that I'm taking this semester. Seriously, the things to study here are so relevant to us, especially to me- allergy & immunity, so yah, i find it good to learn. However, however, i just had another test for it today and i couldn't do well! This was so frustrating. I spent so much time studying it and yet.. I am so disappointed. Could it be my way of studying was not precise,enough? I studied like i always do, for all the subjects. Not good at others too,though. Anyways, i thought the time i spent and the input would be sufficient to answer those basic questions. And they were basic actually. I felt so stupid. I have two more tests back to back tomorrow and day after and i didn't touch any of it because i like immuno more. Argh! The feeling of dissatisfaction!i know i only have myself to blame.shouldn't whine but jsut cant help it, so excuse me for that then.
Right, Am supposed to study for environment biochem now. It is as boring as the name suggests:/

Dissatisfied,
-peach-

STop tellin' me that k

2007-09-26T15:34:00.001+08:00

Am home on a Wed Afternoon when usually i'd be in the gym, studying by the pool. I can't do workout today due to the pain. i felt more today and even if i insist on doing, the workout wouldn't be wholesome. I felt so when i was in the Bodycombat class last Monday. I couldn't jump any higher nor kick stronger. It was such an incomplete workout to me even though i still sweat as much and looked active. I couldnt relax myself. I couldn't help it but feltl disturbed ,though this may seem a minor problem to others. Others could just say, it's JUST gym and you should just rest at home instead. it's not like you cant live without it. You'll only die if you dont eat. Which was true but yet it's just not easy to live without it now (My god, i'm talking now as if it is a relationship, haaah..) i just hate it when people tell me that. Well,To ease that, i've resorted to swimming . See, i just cant sit and not do exercise k. I must do something. Is this what they call exerciselemia?thought i read something like this before,somewhere. Anyway now.., i'm waiting for the rain to stop and gonna head to the pool although i'm also fasting today. I fasted and swam too yesterday. It was slightly more tiring. Went breathless quite fast. Speaking of which, it really takes a lot of discipline to fast for the whole day. I nearly succumbed to my desire to want to take a sip of drink when i came home just now. I was thinking it is only a sip but the other part of me kept saying 'no,no'. hah i think i sounded quite gila and drama la. Probably too much of drama scenes i've viewed/encoutered lately. Dramas, dramas.. I think i could be as talented as these ppl too seriously;p Discovering potentials..haha.. so @cey.
Great! the rain has stopped. I better get few things done here before jumping in the pool. (actually it took me quite some time to finish typing the blog coz am also doing work at the same time. thats why the rain stopped this soon ler :D)
chao

-drama?! peach-
(not that good yet, still discovering..)
.

Totally OFF! sense of logicality, sensibility, rationality and etc*lity...

2007-09-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

I am all drenched and feeling just so exhausted right now. At one point, u will just feel like leaving everything undone there as it is and won't want to bother. There you see , i'm here checking out funny images rather than doing the 'mounting' workloads. maybe i should go get a kitkat bar later...

-stressed peach- ( A stressed peach looks dry, pale and non-appetizing) eh What the heck am i talking?! Anywayss... kitkat, kitkat, kitkat~~

Happy fasting

2007-09-13T06:02:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day & first time of fasting in the Ramadhan month. i mean fasting as in really fasting which goes waking up as early as 5am to 'sahur' , buka puasa in the evening and the most challenging part is to have to go without drinking water in the day time. i did try fasting before but was not the proper way the muslims are doing. That was more like dieting ;) (ops!) Now that my housemate is waking up early to sahur, i have motivation to give it a try. i want to challenge myself to really stick to the real fasting manner and let's see how it'd turn out to be :) Well, It's good that it actually helps in building a strong self-discipline within yourself. i'm waking up early for my immuno assignment too, to submit later in the afternoon.

Back to work now with bloaty stomach;p (ahh,too full ady!)

From fantasyland to reality...

2007-09-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

Xcapade is hot-to go! It has been a tiring but worthwhile three days two nights in P.Dickson. We just came back this evening, physically. I think i left my mind there or probably it's taking its time slowly travelling back to KL. Am still kind of lost , not knowing what to do first and next. Because we have been away from all the assignments, tests and stresses and It was as though we were in a fantasyland. Having fun with the dearest people around me as well as the new juniors. It was such a lovely escape from the real world. i wished Xcapade was a 5days & 4 nights camp.
It was my 3rd time being in Xcapade. Same place with familiar as well as new faces. it felt like home.
Well, I'm so glad to say that i've achieved this small goal that i've set to myself after my first experience in Xcapade as a delegate. I told myself that i'd come back for the second time as the organising committee of the camp and the third time as the faci. I've made it! I felt so proud of myself that i actually could make it happen. The satisfactory feeling is just so overwhelming. I was thinking , the fourth time as the alumni ;p hrm,that would all depends then. It was really good to see the juniors engaging themselves in the activities and was even better to watch them improve throughout the camp itself. i really hope they were inspired. Was great knowing these bunch of new people.
Gosh i'm just so reluctant to come back, argh! Back lisum,focus! Assignments, meetings, lectures, tests are all coming next in line. I need some time to adjust the mode. Would do it in my next session later in the dreamland.
~lalala...zzzzzzz~

-peach-

Past, Present & Future?

2007-08-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

Recently the thought of him came back to me. Like i mentioned in my previous entry. Today, one of my housemate conducted a round of tarot card game and i went on asking about this question. The game goes like telling about the past, present and future about the proposed question. Obviously, my question was this, him. I wanted to know the subconscious me have totally forgotten him or not and that i can be able to move on completely.The outcome, well, the Past ; it was a card that shows a family consisting dad-carrying a toddler, Mom and a boy-playing with a mini-sized gold horse on the grass. There is a scenery of mountain and lake on the background and 10 gold pentacles on both sides of the card. The mom and dad dont look happy. So this card tells that I looked happy with him but was not really so then. This was from the image of the peaceful-looking family yet bearing upset faces.However there was hope as it was represented by the toddler in the family. The emotions between us then were quite distant like the peaceful-nice looking scenery on the background that seems distant from the family. Forgotten what the pentacles represent.Well, i could see the overall relevance somehow. Moving on to the second card, the Present ; It turned out to show a human with a horse lower-body in a dark man-made cave as though he is trapped. There is a shine of light on top of the creature and he is holding a scroll. And so it says that the scroll is like a law that i should follow and the light tells that i know what i shoud follow whereas the horse lower body represents the strength to do such. Meaning that, i should do what i think i should which is ignore the thought and should not doubt my feelings. The thirdcard-Future ; A princess and a cupid are holding hands and in a heaven-like place with an arch that has engravement details of happy-holding hand couples and family. Both of them looking happy at each other and there are 10 cups in front of them. Sounds like a good card right? The 10 cups represent my emotions which are complete, meaning strong i guess. Yes it supposedly is a good one but what does that mean then? Meaning am i gonna end up with him again, but happily this time? like a happy ending in a fairytale? It wouldnt be a good card to me then. However then i was assuming that it could mean my question of me having to completely move on. Meaning i finally could and found a better, new person instead. Yes, i see it that way. haha! After all, im the one who is going to control everything about myself and decice on how i want it to be. I guess this is what was being told in the Present card, the strength. I think i have it in me now. And i know what i should do for now:)
I'm pretty sure some of u might be thinking that i'm superstitious that i believe in all these tarot thingy. I didnt say that i'm believing it full-heartedly. It is just a guidance and no-one should trust 100%. You are the one who is going to determine your fate and no-one, i repeat, NO-ONE can see the future exactly. Anyway, i was pretty happy with the outcome. =D

-peach-

Types of STRESS

2007-08-21T15:49:00.000+08:00

I LURRRVEEEE IMMUNO, DAMN!

There are the few types of stresses that im dealing with now :-

immuno( screwed up test!)
membrane & neurochem tests this Thurs!
not being able to go to the gym for four days, FOUR days!
pain on my knees, irritating! worried..
the consequence of my knee pain, have to refrain from STEP classes!
hormone imbalance?! testoterone > progestron? that was why, i guess???
Money not enough, which i think is everyone else's stress.

p/s : dont mind this piece of blog looking like some lecture notes ;p

-peach-

Was it the coffee(s) or just the mind?

2007-08-19T01:09:00.001+08:00

*blink blink* I am so awake right now. I had three cups of coffee today ;for breakfast, lunch and teatime. I wanted to keep myself awake to study for the tests nextweek and i ended up so energetic till this hour. it didnt work this well on the days of my lectures. Could it be just the mind? Well then, i should psycho myself to sleep now, hrm.. and when u cant fall asleep, your mind tend to travel..
This came about quite random here but Recalling the conversation i had with my housemates this afternoon, this one thing kept me wondering. Have i actually had gotten over him, completely??? I am quite confused. The thought of him came back to me recently and since then, i have been wondering if that was just a random thought of him or i actually missed him? I was positive that i have had deleted him off my mind and outta my heart. however, i started to doubt myself. uh hum.. this is kinda tricky here. But why do i want to question this? Perhaps something relevant about him that brought back the memory. it isnt illogical,is it? Anyway, i am comfortable the way i am now and i do not think(and do not hope) that i'm still bearing the hope for him. Anyhow, i appreciated the things that i've learnt from him and it has really made me stronger. It feels so good with the new strength that i've finally found:)

-peach-

I just love doing IT

2007-08-15T21:39:00.000+08:00

I have loved it since the first time i went for IT. The passion for IT started to grow bit by bit each time i do IT. The more i do, the more passionate i grew upon IT. I started from a beginner to an intermediate/advanced do-er now and i have to admit that i was a fast learner. I picked up the MOVES in such short time. Once he performed the MOVE, i could practice it well already(at least i think i did) I could say i'm getting more graceful and i love seeing myself doing it from the reflection of the mirror. I feel sexy and beautiful. And i do IT along with musics. The faster the music gets, the faster i go and the more 'syiok' it gets. I just love it when there are more turnings. i, somehow, gained a higher self-confidence when i keep doing it. I feel really happy and `high' each time i do IT.The ovewhelming adrenaline rush, increased heart pumpings, spinning music, all combines to create the so-great feeling.Ah, I just love the sensation! Now, i have got addicted and the idea of not doing it anymore doesnt fancy me at all. Yes and i am feeling really miserable right now because i have to stop doing IT for the moment. In fact, i have stopped for almost a week. Like today, i had the chance to do it but i couldnt. i just cant. I was advised to not do IT at so high intensity and do it slower and that i'm still young, i should not do IT that much to the extent i'm getting pain now. Although it is now mild but it can cause serious injury if it is not handled in the right way. The pain is irritating. Each time i thought i want to do IT as i think it is just mild pain and i cant resist the temptation to go for IT, the pain is felt. It probably knows what i'm thinking and giving me warning signs to stay away before things get worse. i felt so helpless and i can only watch others doing IT. Pity me. Not just i have to bear the pain(physically) but also the pain of losing the sensation. IT is one my favourite routine and it is my passsion. Now dont get any idea, i'm talking about my passion for Step Moves in my gym and i'm so upset that i have to refrain myself from doing it now due to the pain that i'm feeling on my knee. It is mild yet risky if i ignore it. If anyone is a gym brat here, i would suggest trying IT=) Trust me, give a lil patience in the beginning,u'd sure love it. As much as i do. Sigh, hopefully the pain fades after some time later. Not getting any treatment though. I should really take it easy now and take good care of the condition. i have heard of serious cases such as knee cap replacement and in fact, most step instructors have done so as too much of damage has been done to their knees for the amount of classes they've conducted all year long. So right now, im taking a week off step totally and see how it goes. If the pain ( touch wood) prolongs, i'd probably seek a chinese sifu for treatment. Let's just hope it will cure itself. i think got such thing like auto-healing ,right? i will have to believe there is... or otherwise... :(
Enough of expressing my love for IT, i have to start to 'love' Immunology. The test is on next MOnday and i could hardly understand the topic. Probably i should read it as my bedtime story just as what my lecturer is practising (yes, she told us she did and still is,crazy huh? i mean not her but her passion for it) u see, passion can make a person goes wild. passion, passion, passion. i should generate the passion for immuno then...
i loveimmuno, i love immuno, i love immuno..(psychoing myself)

-peach-

Things just weren't right

2007-08-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

I was like a total zombie the whole day today. i felt like i was zombying around uni this whole afternoon. everything wasnt right since the minute i woke up early this morning or precisely during my sleep last night. i had a nightmare which seemed so real, spooky, ok..shall not talk about that. Then,i went to uni looking like moron, the hair, the clothes matching..so out! by the way, i wanted to wake up earlier at 6am to study for my test at 830am but did not because i was frightened by the nightmare and so, i continued sleeping. good thing i could do at least some of the test questions and managed to complete my assignment to submit on today. (good job, lisum) self-praising is good at times,haha! Speaking of which, i walked a lot in uni today, from fac to lecturer's block in another end -submit assignment,to bank, to KPS and back to AIESEC office. Was so exhausted and i almost tripped myslf 3x, 3Xs!Gosh, so silly. When i finally settled my stuff in uni and came back before meeting at730pm, i felt a sudden rush in me to mop my room even though i was dead tired. Random, wasnt i? Lia, my housemate, commented on me looking pale when she saw me. I saw the reflection in the mirror,looking so horrible. pale lips, dark-circled eyes, emotionless expressions, my god, so ugly-looking! Then went to meeting looking as bad too. DUring the meeting, i was just sitting there as though mind was flown elsewhere. I came back, tried to study but nothing came to progress. The headache i was having since the morning topped up to the bad condition. Evrything adds together and made me feel like a crap hence the blog to ease my feelings. Tomorrow i gotta focus on studying for my test on wed, BIOCHEMISTRY2! Glycolysis, gluconeogenesis, enzymes and what not to memorise.
ok.i should have a good rest now.

nitez

-peach-

2007-08-09T02:54:00.000+08:00

This is a tiramisu that i got from my family members( left).
The other one was from my dear sohpohs ( right)

This was my third one from my dearie housemates , cesiea-cers =)

2007-08-09T02:50:00.000+08:00

Isnt it lovely? ;) tHIS was from my dear sisters-friends

Lisum on 8th AUG

2007-08-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it was one of my happiest day. I had 3 cakes and two lovely surprises from my dearie sisters, EBs and housemates. The first was from my housemates and my dear EBs. They surprised me at home. Before that, we were having discussion in Hillpark among the EBs and it lasted till 12am. They sang me a birthday song which was quite random as we were in the midst of a serious talk. ANyway, a few of them left after the discussion ended and i had to wait for Nadine to go home together. I really wanted to leave as soon as possible because i was very,very tired and i could almost fall asleep while waiting Nadine to finish her talk with a few others. i actualy thought of calling Rene before he left Hillpark to send me home first but didnt in the end. Then, finally we left and reached home and i thought i could sleep soon after. but when we reached our doorstep, i saw Goay's, Geen's and Rene's shoes. There were here! i seriously thought they went home after the meeting coz everyone was tired and had assignment to do back home. but it was so quite when we came in and no one bunked out or anything. Weird! but i knew they were in somewhere. Mawar was sleeping when in the room and i kept telling Nadine that they were here. but she didnt bother me, pretending. When i realized our bathroom door ws locked from the inside i felt something was not right and i never would have thought they actually hid in there as the lights were off. but it was funny that the door was locked from the inside. i started questioning and Mawar woke up ( pretending) that someone must have locked accidentally after using and accused Geen. After a while, Goay came out with a cake and the rest of them appeared. Four of them actually hid in the bathroom! i believed Mawar that it was locked accidentally. gosh! she has good acting skill. most Aiesecers have good acting skill though. I was so touched by them. was such a sweet surprise, really. i knew they would celebrate for me, probably the next day i thought coz it takes much effort to stay and celebrate after 12am. Anyway, guys, thanx loads and i would say the surprise plan have succeeded 90%. As for the -10%, it was caused by THE SHOES, right outside, so obvious!(haha!) So..lesson learnt was that shoes must be hidden well to keep the surprise a surprise ;p i guess if not because of it,i would have fall entirely to the plan. That was sweet anyway=)

At night, i celebrated with my group of sisters. They came all the way to PJ to celebrate with me. The surprise they gave me was the customized cake (there, my surprised look in the pic). It has a lovely, cartoon tortoise on it (although i dont really acknowledge myself a tortoise) the reason they call me that for i used to walk very slow but well, i walk faster than anybody now. A friend that i knew from my LI company named me as 'the bullet walk' as i walked real fast. The name sounds funny though;p anyway, thanx for coming all the way here for me and the lovely cake(yes, i mean it!) love u girls lots!

Overall, i had a GREAT 22nd birthday celebration and i was feeling really happy the whole day. Oh i bought a muffin as a little treat for myself and each year now,i'll be getting muffin for myself on birthdays and it actually started last year. i realized then i need to pamper and love myself more as i think i havent been really treating myself good enough. u need to love yourself in order for others to. why would people wanna treat u well if u are being a jerk to yourself? ;) i think my body needs rest, shouldnt mistreating it haha!
yay, my aunt's gonna bring me out tmrw for a bday treat=D hehe..

Surprise back at home ;)

2007-08-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

Good thing that i decided to go home instead of Malacca last Saturday. My family actually celebrated my birthday in a simple yet heart-touching manner especially from my sis. I initially wanted to join Goay , Geen & a few interns to Malacca for two day's , one night trip. I wanted to go for the food. However my mom stressed over the phone the night before that i should be home this weekend. As usual i thought she insisted me because she has always been discouraging me to go out at nights as she pressumed i would hang out late at night if i stay here in pj. That is so not true. I do work here k. Of course i hang out late once in a while and If any more also would be my meetings ler. Ok..and ive got a Tiramisu cake:D ! It tasted good but my mom limited me to it as ive history of allergic with cake once, the most recent case. Anyway, i had quite a lot in the end, haha! It was a vegetarian cake with no eggs so it was healthy.
But right now, i have tummy ache and had diarrhea yesterday when i came back pj. I assumed it was Murni's food which, if it was, the effect was considered quite slow coz we went there last Thursdsay. Haha, it got all the blames. coz there are a few of us had diarrhea and pukings the day after the supper. speaking of which, the pain now gets worse. Was still ok when i was in the meeting with my fellow EBs. This week is so packed with meetings, interviews and such. Tomorrow i gotta do extraction for my lab work which is a time consuming work. Boiling and extracting takes more than 4 hours. i have got another assignment today and two tests next week. Woohoo this is gonna be great! and there goes my gym routine and oh,my birthday...
tummy pain unbearable. i should just get the med and sleep.
Nitez
-peach-

Lisum is exhausted yet glad

2007-08-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

Haaaaahhh! i am so tired today. and finally i am home and nicely bathed. ready to go to bed soon. eyes are getting heavier. will be going jogging tomorrow morning around 630am(hopefully can wake up) will be my first time jogging around tiara. i had this thought when i was doing my proposal this morning at 6am. i thought it would be good to wake up earlier to go for a jog before class. As i have no time to go to gym this week and i started to feel uneasy without exercising the whole week and so i suggested to jog around here. Two of my housemates are joining me=) Yay!
Yeah and back to my proposal. ive shown it to my supervisor today with the other six of my coursemates sharing the same lecturer. Glad that it wasnt so bad as earlier i was panicking that i couldnt get anything. So we discussed with her what we are supposed to do for our theses. MIne is about the antidiabetic effect by a few plant extratcs, strobilanthes, gyrana and tongkat ali. from her expanation, it seems somewhat interesting, the research. previously i felt so dreadful thinking of the theses but doesnt seem so now. hopefully it'll be a very fun lab work.
Oh and yay! i submitted my assignment as well! sigh * relieved*
But then..not just yet. AIESEC, aiesec and aiesec. There's always something there to keep us busy with. this week is the week for newbies interviews to get into projects, meeting MCs, recruitment booths and of course, EB meet and EB meet. Anyway, hanging out with my dear,fellow EBs and squeezing brains together for planning and such is quite enjoyable at times. So Much better than to sit and listen to dry lectures. Haha! Gosh, this semester i must work my brain and heart and soul and whatever out to catch up my grades. This is a real challenge! Further more i am starting my lab work on theses on this Friday, doing plant extraction.
Oh btw, welcome to the month ofAugust!!! Woohoo~ :D

Bed time, Great! The best time of all. at least those things are off your mind for few hours.
Alarm : 615am. Hours to sleep : 5hrs 0mns from now... Nitez

-peach-

Home sweet home on a lovely Sunday but not lovely on the assignment part

2007-07-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

Yay! i went home today after, yeah, spent my few hours in the gym(wont miss today). Today was the last day of my fav instructor teaching i n CF on sunday. He's stopping for a month but i presume would be longer. An extra class doesnt make much of a difference to his total income anyway. I hope CF wont place a lousy instructor for the step class,otherwise, spoil my sunday routine. Today's step moves was fun=) Such a satisfying workout. Poor guy, he lost his wallet in Celebrity Fitness. He has lost 1K besides the cards. Gosh, that's alot of money. And now he's cancelling the class. Shouldnt he do more to earn back the loss? He's just another victim of luxurious achiever. Nvm,back to my day@ home. i went home after doing some grocery shopping in Jusco. Spent another 40bux, hrm. i just mentioned yesterday that i spent a lot.
So glad to see my parents and dearie brothers especially my youngest bro. i noticed he has slimmed down a lil' haha! that was the first i said to him when i was home. So nasty of me ;p as i always used to tease his figure and he would play along with me,saying, omg,i should eat more then. sigh, my chubby cutie bro. he was so happy when i bought him this yummy choc biscuits from Ikea. He just loves to eat. We had early dinner today. Home cooked meal, Mmmmm~ MOm just know me. she knows i love healthy steamed food.But now im having diarrhea ler. Was it the food..? im paranoid ady whenever encountering diarrhea. thank God, i'm still fine now.
Then i came back Tiara around 830pm. Started my assignment typing and still searching material. guess i cant sleep early tonight.

Gonna cry through the night ;'/

Home Alone

2007-07-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

Everyone is going everywhere except for me. i am home alone here , searching materials for my theses proposal and also for my assignment wherelse all my housemates went to intern party and some went dinner out. i bet the home alone kid enjoyed it more than i do. random but anyway, i chose to blog when im stressed up, although it might be bored to read.
HELP! What's scientific literature? citation? reference? i am not allowed to cut & paste from the internet but where else can i get info from then..? The due dates are on the coming Monday and one on Tuesday. Is there a smarter way to cut & paste from net that is not noticeable? I basically wasted my time today , waiting for bus back to tiara. I could have get some stuff done. i have planned my time for the day nicely but got a bit out now. i have less than solid 6 hours to do my work.i could have gone home to see my parents and dearest siblings but i chose to stay in here to finish the stuff. no matter what, i still go to the gym(haha!) I was almost exploded when i couldnt catch the step moves in the step class today in the gym. The one step that i missed screwed the following moves, that was so frustrating. And sharing step board with a heavy body odor fella agitated me even more.Gosh!im sorry but that was so unbearable, could faint man! when the air brushes across u. I guess my hormone was imbalance in addition to the stress, poor fella. ANyway, i hope he would do something about it.
Aww, i wasted my time last night also. i went to dinner in Sakae Sushi, a jap restaurant(yeah,obviously).Oh And it was such an irony that i went there for chicken instead of its fresh,yummy scallops, ebis, crabs & salmons. So pathetic. This can be applied by the literal translated chinese saying; can see,cannot eat. My allergic histories, i dare not try a single bit. The teriyaki chicken tasted nice though;p i had tofu and fried vege also which tasted good too. A recommendation to dine in there! =) Now i wish to try the Delish,opening soon in Midvalley. Apparently it shares the same boss as the Delicious by Ms Read. They probably serve different dish. Delicious serves good food too.
This weekend...Oh! I am so broke. I went out with only 2bux in my purse. I need to save for a laptop backpack which ive been wanting for so long but has had no money allocated for it. I cant possibly carry the one-sided sling bag all around uni everytime. i need to carry it out more often this semester but it's just so heavy. My shoulder suffered. I wonder when will i be able to save that much of $$. I am now spending more as i'm staying out. I remembered when i stayed in hostel, sometimes i hardly use a single cent. i cooked for myself :) Instant food hehe. As a VPAF, i shall learn more on the ways to generate extra income. Not just for LC but also for myself, haha!

Guess i am feeling better now. Not so tensioned. Should go back to work.
Ciaoz~

-peach-

Sharing the fun moments :D

2007-07-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

Nadine, me & Lia
Aren't they cute? The red one is my fav:) My looks is just comparable to theirs (as young, haha!)
The BASF Kids Lab Team
One of the testimonials from the kids. Read clearly, do u see my name in it? haha, yeah they love my session;)

This was the opening ceremony hall.

Peace, finally

2007-07-13T19:08:00.000+08:00

I am here in Tiara, alone, enjoying the peace and comfort while doing the paperwork for @. I am not trying to say that i dislike having my housemates around. i was saying finally i am able to sit at home in the afternoon doing all the things i want to do here such as listening to music, house chores and sitting down to plan my stuff. Some times u really need a minute or two to sit down quietly and plan your stuff well. Like i've mentioned, i moved in officially last Sunday and i hadn't been spending a single afternoon in this apartment. i left the apartment as early as 8.30am and came home around 12-1am. Only today i found the time to. i have no Friday classes. Went uni though to meet my lecturer regarding my theses and LI results but she didnt want to entertain any of us so wasted my energy and time. i could have slept more. Then i went gym and came back before 3pm. Since then i was here in front of my pc till now. and im having diarrhea =( Actually i could have gone home today but the wireless here is more convenient for me to do work. Missed home and mom's cook. Dont think so tomorrow will be able to go home also as the Dutchs are coming and we have to entertain them.
Well, all these are not significant events but then blogging them just so i could keep track of my daily routines. Reading them again in the future will be pretty entertaining, i think ;)

2007-07-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

New Semester

Day 2

IT was just 2nd day but it feels like it had been two months started sem. From last sunday till just now we had @ meetings that ended late at night. The next few days will also be coming home late. There were very tiring and came back with works to be done too. This is totally expected to be in the Board. This will be the best time for me to learn time management seriously. Studies, theses, AIESEC , gym, family and myself .By the way, i have officially moved in to Tiara, my rental apartment in ss17 which am staying with few friends. i have not really stay a whole day here in this new place since i'm practically leaving hse early in the morning and coming back late at night. More like a hotel to me , hrm..
Today i got a new planner to organise my schedule better. Yay! I was looking for a nicer one but too expensive for the design and quality for those that i've seen. This one here is a cheaaap one, to just have my things planned well so doesnt really matter. but i like having a nice one. It'll make u happier when planning things,i guess, for me yeah. probably i should include that in my next semester's stationary list:)
Classes are so far so good, i think. i thought to extend my credit hours to 23hrs but was too late to register and they disallow manual reg, too bad then. i thought to make my next sem free for my theses writing. i'd also be having a gymrama lesson this sem. should be interesting i guess. 830am tmw.. gtg

chaoz

2007-07-10T02:04:00.000+08:00

BASF Fun Xperience

It was a really fun and interesting event. We conducted experiments with the school kids in the first two days and they came from rural schools which mostly were the Std 4-6 children. Some of them were pretty intelligent and some were not so clear of what they did. However, the most important thing was they all had fun and they learnt something new. Frankly speaking, even i myself have not heard of some of the experiments before. Of course cant forget those cute ones as well as those nasty ones. i was conducting an experiment which we called 'superabsorber' where it was a chemical material that can absorb water very well and yet does not leaks when we squeezed. it is applied in baby diapers. It was very simple demostration and also was using the diapers. Some of the kids were shy seeing pampers and they went..'ee..yer...' When they finally knew what turned out in the end, they were impressed and the impressed looks they made were so fun to watch. We were also being provided food, catered food. The first meal on our training day got us all food poising and most of us got diarrhea. It occured to me at 4am and i thought another allergy attck but fortunately it wasnt. thank god. i was so paranoid coz the last time i had recently was started off with diarrhea. The next day we went for our Day1, we found out quite a number of us got as well. So i wasnt the only one hence the suspect on the lunch the day before. we all got paranoia eating the food provided the days after but gladly there were fine then. Day 3 at work for us was challenging as the kids were as young as 3 yrs old. A 3yrs kid did experiment! Of course was guided by parents and us. Some were just too hyper but was so enjoyable. i felt like being in YV =) Besides that, the kids were given sort of like an evaluation sticker to write on about anything they like and pasted on the boards we provided. Some of them wrote that they like us in particular our names, in their sticker. i had a few =p i felt so touched when reading that,awww.. Anyway, we, facis also had a lot of fun among ourselves too. i would say this was the most enjoyable event job that i worked for. You get paid for having fun haha! tiring though. coz we needed to bend most of the time to talk to the kids as they are all short and tiny. Backached ;p BASF really did a great thing for these children. COngratulations!
Couldnt upload some nice pics taken on the event today. Maybe later:)

BASF Training session

2007-07-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

Okay..this will be a quick one. My bro is waiting for me to watch heroes together and it's getting late now. i have to wake up extra early tomorow for the BASF event. i went for the training session today in National Science Center from 9am to 3 something. Just found out that BASF is actually a chemical company, very huge and establised in fact. They supply chemical substances such as styrofoam, paints, plastics and such to manufacturers to make the end consumer products. This event is actually a kids' lab event where the BASF is actually organising it to introduce fun in chemistry to school childern to develop the interest and sort of tickle their fancy. It is an event held by the chemical company as a way to position their company to the society. The sch kids are mostly from rural area and we were told that some can be as young as 3-4 years old. Our job description, to teach/guide them in performing the few lab experiments that are set by the company. Even i,myself learnt something new today. We were taught about the experiments and had a hands on practice so that it'll be easier tomorrow. We are the fascillitator and supposed to teach the kids to do in proper way and encourage them to be inquisitive. Show to them thewonders of science and how we needed them in our daily routines. We will have interactive sessions with the kids. i think it's gonna be fun. The briefing about the job sounds exciting and i'm looking frward to it. it feels like Young Visionaries again :)
Alright, catching heroes!
ciaoz!

=) farewell LI =( missing sis

2007-07-04T00:29:00.000+08:00

Aah! Finally my LI is over. I have few days left to rest before the new term starts next week I have also done my report, wee~ Not submitted though. Will do tomorrow morning before going for the BASF. I’ve no idea yet about the whole event and I just know it is regarding kids, science and lab stuff. I am actually working part time for this 3days event, 5-7th July. Tomorrow is the training. I must at least work for a paid job this holiday since my LI company not paying me and I need to earn back at least the money that I’d spent traveling to the company. For the two months, I had spent at least, I think, 3-4 hundreds. anyway, today was my last day in the company although it wasn’t my working day. I don’t think I’ll visit there again anytime soon. I went there just to print out the report and got validation from my supervisor. Half of the day I was still doing the report. Worked late last night too. That was why I looked weary today. Need facial mask, I guess. Haven’t been doing it for some time. Such a bad habit for the skin, hrm. Probably tomorrow, I will. I know I should be sleeping by now. Need to get up early tomorrow. As early as 6.30am. But felt like dropping some stuff here, so it’ll be a quick one.
I miss sis. Guess what?! She got UM too! Instincts told me she would so it was right, haha! My all time, best companion. We could still go gym and do things together. I cant imagine she getting uni further than KL. I’d be miserably lonely although I still have my brothers, parents and a bunch of crazy friends around., still is different from having sis with me. She is just like another me. She’s the one that knows best of me. Sometimes, she seems to know what I’m thinking and we have mutual interests. Even when we don’t speak, we just know what we are going to say. Pretty scary though. I cant keep secrets from her then. She’d know all my evil plans, if i ever have.;p I don’t think I can meet anyone else that could understand me so well like she could, not even partners. Poor thing, she must be suffering in the orientation now. Few sleeping hours, unnecessary talks and stuff like that. It made me think of my orientation experience. I could only remember sleeping late and waking up early and did funny jingles in the middle of the night in front of other’s residential college. They had no better things to do, I’m sorry, this was how I felt. My sis wasn’t so lucky to get 12th. She got 9th and she wasn’t so happy when she first saw the rooms because she has stayed in 12th before. I brought her in to accompany me during my study break last sem when my roomie wasn’t in. She was studying for her STPM too. So both of us were working hard together and I’m so proud of her that she got 4.0 pointer in her STPM. She even appeared in the media. Felt like as though it was my achievement. Love ya’ sis! =D

~peach~

Another series of unfortunate event

2007-07-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

Another series of unfortunate allergy attack. It happened again. It was on a Tuesday midnight /Wed morning when I was out celebrating friend’s birthday. We got her a chocolate ice-cream cake from Baker’s Cottage. I joined them after my workout in the gym and I did not eat anything before that, just a cup of hot honey milk in the café. And I had the cake. We left not long after cutting and eating the cake to be home earlier as some of us had to work the next day and some got class. So it was past 12 am and I reached home before 1am. I had slight stomachache while I was on the way home and I didn’t suspect any allergic reaction at all. I thought I was clean, just a piece of cake and milk, will not do any harm. How sure was I ?! I got diarrhea once I got home and slowly I felt it coming. My eyes watery and swelling. Could feel the blood rushing in my face and then the nose running. I knew then my nasal passage would be blocked and not able to breathe through it. And so it was predicted right. I seemed to have familiarize with it now. Of course, I still feel scared and panicked. I was so afraid to wake up my parents coz I knew I’d get scolding definitely. They were disallowing me to go out again after coming back from gym which was already almost 10pm. I insisted to go because it was my friend’s birthday, my close friend. It was reasonable, wasn’t it? I even took my anti-histamine which I keep with me all the time but It was too late. I woke them up in the end as I knew I could not do anything else if I don’t get the drug. I was so guilty disturbing my parents’ sleep and worse, gave them another pain to worry. I was rushed to HUKM again and along the way, I was polished nicely by mom. She kept repeating, `if u had listened to me and stayed at home, this will not happen!’ the guilt topped up to my suffering. I could not reason back coz it indeed happened as a result of my disobeying. But..was I really wrong to just wanted to celebrate a friend’s birthday and I didn’t know that the cake could cause me allergy. How am I supposed to know that? I had cakes and was totally fine with them. My parents suspected that it probably not fresh and had been infected by germs.
In the hospital, I had another round of torture. I had needle poking and injection on my left and right hand at the same time. Left arm was injection and right hand was being poked and taken blood for test. The poking into my vein was so much pain as it was done by a non professional nurse. She poked few times and ordered me to grasp my knuckles so she could poke right into the vein, OMG that was horrible pain! The left arm jap was hurtful than the previous times. These nurses and doctors are , I’m sorry to say, not well-trained. If u think I am trying to downgrade them, I think u people should come and watch them work yourselves. The way they are working there are so unprofessional. They could laugh and joke and the ward was filled with noises none other than theirs. I know It doesn’t sound right to criticize on other’s working attitude but this is a business that I ,and everyone else ,should mind because it concerns people’s life! I thought it is a common understanding that doctors and nurses are supposed to keep their professionalism high at work. But I really doubt this bunch of people here. When I was pushed into the ward , I was being questioned by the nurses and a doctor, I assumed. There was a bunch of them and I wasn’t sure who was the doctor and who the nurse. I told them I just had a piece of cake and the scenario was like.. `moi, u makan kek apa?’ I replied ` choc cake’. ` kek mana ni? Secret recipe ke? Aiyoo, sayang la kalau iaya ni’ ` amoi tak untung la’ ( laughing) Isnt this hilarious?! Am I supposed to laugh at their joke or feel upset about their attitude? Although I was struggling to breathe through my mouth passage, my mind was still conscious of every single joke they made. Seriously I was really frustrated at that time. Oh and before I forget to mention, while I was staying on bed waiting for the drug to take its effect, I could see two of the so-called doctors were playing computer games on their desk, right opposite my bed! I could even hear the games beeping noises. So god-damn annoying! I am not making up all these. The scenario was totally different in this private hospital in Klang I’d been to during my previous attack. I could say they worked professionally, even the syringes poking wasn’t as hurtful as this time’s. However the medicinal and consultation cost of course is higher, much higher. But at least u feel safer and relieve being under their care. My dad asked the doctor whether they’d know about the test for the allergen and they replied they have no idea about that, sigh. I’ve urged dad to find out as soon as possible. I feel afraid to eat now after this incidence because I’d never expected cakes. I thought I’d be safe avoiding seafood in my meals. I felt really bad causing the worry on my parents. Dad could not go to work the next day. He was very tired after accompanying me in the hospital. I saw mom and dad slept on the hard, plastic chairs. I felt heartache causing them all these, not to mention the worry I gave. The only thing that I can do is to take good care of myself , but I know still, it would not lessen much of their worriesL

Introducing Li Heart's new blog site..!!!

2007-06-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

WELCOME to my new blog site! wee! :D
I will start blogging here, shifting myself from frenster's blog. There are always new stuff happening in life and so i think blogging is a good way to pen down memories,be it sweet or bitter. Sweet to savour the mind but bitter provides lesson to be learnt ( i Think..?am trying to think positive, trying ;p)

Yes, i am blogging here at work place, again. ANd yes today is Saturday and my boss's not around hence the freedom. But she will be free next week, so..will be busier then.
Going gym later and then shop for some formal clothings for Natcon. I need a pair of good shoes, a formal top and to send my blazer for dry cleaning. does anyone know where can i get dry cleaning service around sri petaling area? i urgently need to get it done before Thursday. i am leaving for Natcon to UTM on Thurs night. Will have to miss gym for 5 days.
By the way,tomorrow's Father's Day! Need to come up with something for my beloved daddy. Happy Father's Day, everyone!

Ciaoz!
~peach~